A Bit of Randomness
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. --Diane Arbus
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On Friendship
I have a poll question group. It started a few years ago with me emailing friends and family with questions or ideas that I had been contemplating. I thought it might be beneficial for me to hear others thoughts and for others to maybe think about something that they maybe hadn’t before.
Yesterday I sent Number Nineteen:
When I was younger, I spent most of every day with virtually all of my friends. If we weren’t together we’d be on the phone rehashing what had occurred when we were together and what was going to happen the next time we saw each other. Friendship was measured in time together and shared confidences.
But I find that life has changed all that. I now see my friends after much schedule deliberating or not at all due to where we live. I don’t talk to all of them on the phone all the time anymore but instead rely on (impersonal) communications so that I make sure that I’m at least keeping everyone in the loop. And even that doesn’t work very well.
Recent events have really brought this issue to the forefront. And this is what I’m pondering:
In this day and age, at this stage in your life: what does friendship mean to you? Who are those that you consider friend? Why? Are these friendships satisfying? Have modifiers been added (work friend; exercise friend; friend though child(ren))? Does that make the friendship any less important? Have other things filled the space left by friends?
I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or my natural tendencies to constantly reflect on my past. However, I find myself thinking more and more about people that have moved out of my life and to a certain extent, those who have moved into it. I wonder why part I had in the ending of those relationships; was it necessary? What if anything would I gain by trying to recover them? Would the effort prove to not balance the reward? What if I attempt to reconnect and am met with ridicule, scorn or indifference? What if the person has been wanting the connection back and then I find that letting it go was justified? Have the people that recently came into my life replaced those that moved out? Or are they there in their own rights? Will I be able to have the bonds with them that I have with people I was close to when I was younger?
I have all these questions and no answers.
Yesterday I sent Number Nineteen:
When I was younger, I spent most of every day with virtually all of my friends. If we weren’t together we’d be on the phone rehashing what had occurred when we were together and what was going to happen the next time we saw each other. Friendship was measured in time together and shared confidences.
But I find that life has changed all that. I now see my friends after much schedule deliberating or not at all due to where we live. I don’t talk to all of them on the phone all the time anymore but instead rely on (impersonal) communications so that I make sure that I’m at least keeping everyone in the loop. And even that doesn’t work very well.
Recent events have really brought this issue to the forefront. And this is what I’m pondering:
In this day and age, at this stage in your life: what does friendship mean to you? Who are those that you consider friend? Why? Are these friendships satisfying? Have modifiers been added (work friend; exercise friend; friend though child(ren))? Does that make the friendship any less important? Have other things filled the space left by friends?
I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or my natural tendencies to constantly reflect on my past. However, I find myself thinking more and more about people that have moved out of my life and to a certain extent, those who have moved into it. I wonder why part I had in the ending of those relationships; was it necessary? What if anything would I gain by trying to recover them? Would the effort prove to not balance the reward? What if I attempt to reconnect and am met with ridicule, scorn or indifference? What if the person has been wanting the connection back and then I find that letting it go was justified? Have the people that recently came into my life replaced those that moved out? Or are they there in their own rights? Will I be able to have the bonds with them that I have with people I was close to when I was younger?
I have all these questions and no answers.
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