A Bit of Randomness
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. --Diane Arbus
Read/Post Comments (1)
Religion
I’ve been looking for a new synagogue to attend/belong to. And as I live on the west side, and there’s only ONE synagogue on the west side, the decision is pretty much made for me. But, of course, it’s not that simple. Note the conversation I had with a friend about it:
Codeshaman1 (11:02:11 AM): print Duffiemoon.Topics["finding a synagogue"];
Duffiemoon (11:03:06 AM): ok. so there's one on the west side. and I've been to a service. so I definitely need to check it out again. but I get torn between the fact that reform services are at 8 on fridays and the conservative services is on sat morn.
Duffiemoon (11:03:34 AM): the problem with the conservative is that I'm not sure appropriate dress. which is really an excuse, much like the lateness of friday nights during the summer
Duffiemoon (11:03:54 AM): and I think, if I have to "force" myself to go to services, how committed can I really be to my religion?
Duffiemoon (11:04:09 AM): but then, maybe it's the service/synagogue I don’t like
Duffiemoon (11:04:19 AM): yet, there's no other choice in my area
Codeshaman1 (11:04:55 AM): Wow. That's not unlike what C- and I have gone through.
Duffiemoon (11:05:10 AM): I know. why do you think I've understood?
Codeshaman1 (11:05:19 AM): Heh
Duffiemoon (11:05:28 AM): at least you have two of you. E- isn't really a part of the whole thing
Codeshaman1 (11:05:54 AM): That's a good point.
Duffiemoon (11:06:44 AM): yeah
Duffiemoon (11:07:07 AM): so it's tough. but then, I really like the feeling I have when I'm in services. it's really not unlike the high during exercise.
Duffiemoon (11:07:15 AM): but then, how often do I do *that*????
Codeshaman1 (11:19:14 AM): Well...is it important?
Codeshaman1 (11:23:39 AM): It is something that you want to do, need to do, or something that you SHOULD do? Pick only one.
Duffiemoon (11:26:07 AM): I don't think I *can* only pick one
Codeshaman1 (11:26:47 AM): Ah. Well then. That's the problem.
Duffiemoon (11:27:54 AM): all I know is that something is missing.
Codeshaman1 (11:28:19 AM): Go deeper, if you can. What is? A feeling? A place?
Duffiemoon (11:28:44 AM): a sense of belonging
Duffiemoon (11:28:50 AM): a sense of identity
It's much harder than I thought it would be to be in a mixed marriage. Mixed meaning a Jew and an Atheist (yeah, I capitalized it. so what?). We agreed way before we got married that our family would be Jewish. Not that he would convert but that as our household, our children, would be Jewish. We have our Kettubah (marriage contract) over the mantle; the Hannukiah (a menorah specifically for Hannukah) is diplayed along with several other obviously Jewish items. There aren't any mezzuzah on the doors, though. And I have only made half attemtps at keeping Shabbat (we had dinners for awhile but stopped when I went back to work). And I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been in a synagogue since I got married.
So what I've said was important to me, that I proudly and openly declare, is ringing hollow to me. It would be so much easier if my husband were actually Jewish, too. And if we had other Jewish friends, maybe. Then I would feel that I wasn't doing it alone; that a Jewish identity wouldn't be so much work.
But should it be easy? If it's worth it, shouldn't it require some amount of effort on my part? And if it's worth it and makes me happy, why do I resist?
Codeshaman1 (11:02:11 AM): print Duffiemoon.Topics["finding a synagogue"];
Duffiemoon (11:03:06 AM): ok. so there's one on the west side. and I've been to a service. so I definitely need to check it out again. but I get torn between the fact that reform services are at 8 on fridays and the conservative services is on sat morn.
Duffiemoon (11:03:34 AM): the problem with the conservative is that I'm not sure appropriate dress. which is really an excuse, much like the lateness of friday nights during the summer
Duffiemoon (11:03:54 AM): and I think, if I have to "force" myself to go to services, how committed can I really be to my religion?
Duffiemoon (11:04:09 AM): but then, maybe it's the service/synagogue I don’t like
Duffiemoon (11:04:19 AM): yet, there's no other choice in my area
Codeshaman1 (11:04:55 AM): Wow. That's not unlike what C- and I have gone through.
Duffiemoon (11:05:10 AM): I know. why do you think I've understood?
Codeshaman1 (11:05:19 AM): Heh
Duffiemoon (11:05:28 AM): at least you have two of you. E- isn't really a part of the whole thing
Codeshaman1 (11:05:54 AM): That's a good point.
Duffiemoon (11:06:44 AM): yeah
Duffiemoon (11:07:07 AM): so it's tough. but then, I really like the feeling I have when I'm in services. it's really not unlike the high during exercise.
Duffiemoon (11:07:15 AM): but then, how often do I do *that*????
Codeshaman1 (11:19:14 AM): Well...is it important?
Codeshaman1 (11:23:39 AM): It is something that you want to do, need to do, or something that you SHOULD do? Pick only one.
Duffiemoon (11:26:07 AM): I don't think I *can* only pick one
Codeshaman1 (11:26:47 AM): Ah. Well then. That's the problem.
Duffiemoon (11:27:54 AM): all I know is that something is missing.
Codeshaman1 (11:28:19 AM):
Duffiemoon (11:28:44 AM): a sense of belonging
Duffiemoon (11:28:50 AM): a sense of identity
It's much harder than I thought it would be to be in a mixed marriage. Mixed meaning a Jew and an Atheist (yeah, I capitalized it. so what?). We agreed way before we got married that our family would be Jewish. Not that he would convert but that as our household, our children, would be Jewish. We have our Kettubah (marriage contract) over the mantle; the Hannukiah (a menorah specifically for Hannukah) is diplayed along with several other obviously Jewish items. There aren't any mezzuzah on the doors, though. And I have only made half attemtps at keeping Shabbat (we had dinners for awhile but stopped when I went back to work). And I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been in a synagogue since I got married.
So what I've said was important to me, that I proudly and openly declare, is ringing hollow to me. It would be so much easier if my husband were actually Jewish, too. And if we had other Jewish friends, maybe. Then I would feel that I wasn't doing it alone; that a Jewish identity wouldn't be so much work.
But should it be easy? If it's worth it, shouldn't it require some amount of effort on my part? And if it's worth it and makes me happy, why do I resist?
Read/Post Comments (1)
Previous Entry :: Next Entry
Back to Top
