Yesterday morning, I started having contractions. They were coming on a fairly regular basis but not terribly strong. After the pub rep I was meeting with and the staff nurse encouraged me to call my midwife (as I thought it might be a bit soon) I ended up going home to chill and see if the contractions got stronger or anything.

They calmed down and then started back up again. So I called the office and was told that since they were about to shut down for the day to just go straight to labor and delivery to get checked out.

So I go and get hooked up to the monitors and what not. And end up getting released cause it wasn't time yet.

And honestly, I was thinking it was too early and not time yet either. But a big part of me was (and still sorta is) feeling let down cause I started to get excited.

And then coming into work today, where no one really expected me to be back, was difficult. Especially since they're now seriously gearing up for me to not be here. So I'm starting to feel...dismissed. I know that I'm still valued and needed but it's the old emotional rollercoaster that is barely being controlled.

*Sigh*

It's all normal and expected. All of it. But I just needed to vent a bit.