It appears that all my efforts have been in vane. My milk supply just isn't meeting the demand. She's taking bottles like a champ, now, which is a good thing. However, it's meant a lot more milk has had to go to daycare and not get stored for when I'm gone. Since we realized that there is no way there will be enough for my trip next weekend (and for daycare), Dylan was started on bottles containing part milk and part formula.

She doesn't seem to mind at all. Maybe it's that we changed the brand and type (liquid vs. powder) that we are offering. Maybe she's just damn hungry. I dunno.

Regardless, even frequently nursing her on demand (sometimes for over an hour as I previously posted), pumping at work and at night, drinking lots of water and drinking the Mother's Milk tea doesn't seem to have made a bit of difference. I just don't have enough. Even this morning, after not feeding her for about 9 hrs, I still had to nurse her on both sides and she still seemed hungry (something that didn't happen previously).

Stupid stomach flu. Stupid birth control pill. Stupid lactation consultant that didn't think to tell me that the pill would stop my milk from coming back after I was sick.

*sigh*

But as, for whatever reason, she needs more than I can provide, we're going to have to feed her (mostly?) formula, I think. My mother has been wonderful in reassuring me that this is not the tragedy that I feel it is. Plenty of kids never get breastmilk at all (me included) and are just fine - happy, healthy and have had no trouble bonding. But as I'm still having trouble with the whole thing, I have decided to come up with reasons on why this is a good thing.

1. Eric will have a chance to spend more time with Dylan at night and on weekends as I won't have to be the one to feed her

2. I will have more time "free" at night when I've normally been nursing.

3. I can go out at night/weekends

4. Eric and I can have some time alone together

5. I can get a tattoo!!!! In particular, the one I was in the middle of designing when I found out I was pregnant

6. Normal sized shirts might fit me again

7. I can have a drink without worrying about how much I can have before it affects my milk

8. I can sleep in

That's all I can think of right now...