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Has It Been So Long?
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Has it been so long? Three weeks since I even looked in on this journal?

I'm reminded of college when I'd cut a class and then feel nervous about showing up unprepared for the next. So I'd miss that one, become more uneasy, finally end up dropping the course entirely.

I still dream, sometimes, that I'm seated in a classroom, confronting a final exam for a course I stopped attending weeks ago. Strange. I haven't been to school for 25 years at least. Usually the test is on something like French. Or German. A subject that can't be faked. Can't be talked around. No chance to put a good face of things. What language was I supposed to be studying anyway? Now I remember..I haven't been to a single lecture. Not one! Perhaps it was Italian. How do I expect to pass? I haven't been to class for 25 years. Horror washes over me.

Unprepared! Unprepared!

A metaphor for my whole life?

Then I wake up. What a relief. I still can't speak French or German or Italian.

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