We interrupt Leftovers Week to direct you to Joe Konrath's blog. While I am serving meatloaf again, Joe is detailing his maiden book tour. These entries are must reading for aspiring authors. It's always a good idea to know exactly what it is you're aspiring to.

Thus far, Joe has been driving around Colorado doing book signings and bookstore "drive-bys" which he describes as follows:

1. Finding all of my books in the store and bringing them to the Information desk.
2. Introducing myself to the employee at the desk, and signing the copies.
3. Handing the employee a signed WHISKEY SOUR coaster, and explaining what my books are about.
4. Tracking down all the other employees in the store, giving them signed coasters and the book talk.

If I walked into a bookstore and started messing with their stock and accosting employees, I'd probably end up arrested. At least, judging by the booksignings I've done. With a few exceptions, the bookstore employees I've encountered haven't been interested in meeting me even when they knew I was coming. They didn't like having to haul a folding chair and table out of the stockroom. It interrupted their work.

Whether they would have had any interest in talking to a real author, I can't say, because they made it plain they didn't consider me to be in that category. I was pretty obviously filed under "laughable wannabe."

After my signings, when I'd offer to autograph the remaining books (i.e. all the ones I'd started with) they'd snatch the pile away in horror. I suppose they were afraid if I scribbled on the books they wouldn't be able to return them.

No, I wouldn't want to do what Joe's doing. I wouldn't dare. If I wore a hat, it'd be off to him. I hope he sells a million books. Or enough to make bail anyway.