On grocery shopping day our cat Sabrina was indisposed. To be more exact, but not overly graphic, she had what my grandmother used to call "the back door trots" -- no doubt recalling the days when the route to the outhouse was through the back door.

The culprit must have been the moist cat food. Our 17-year old Sabrina is generally limited to dry food, to preserve her youthful figure, but she gets a tin of fancier chow from time to time. Although Mary and I are vegetarian, we allow our dear little predator to have meat. That's her natural diet. Besides, it gives us the chance to enjoy Chicken Florentine or turkey slices in gravy vicariously. What they do with cat cuisine these days is amazing, but maybe a bit too rich in this case for an elderly feline homebody.

What sort of food was responsible? I had no idea what I'd purchased. It would take a week to read the labels on the 10,000 varieties in the cat food aisle. Usually I just pick up the containers with the most striking colors. "What did you feed her?" I asked Mary.

"Duck," Mary replied.

I waited for her to laugh but she didn't.

"You're kidding," I prompted.

"No, I'm sure it said duck. Chicken breast and duck."

Well, we are living in the twenty-first century. I can imagine a utopian science fiction piece back in the 1930s: "In the world of the future cats will eat duck!"

I guess I'll have to get used to it. My grandmother's cats got Puss N' Boots. I'm not even sure there were different flavors.

But why duck? How often do people dine on duck? Or does that explain the puzzle? Too many ducks and not enough gourmets wanting to snack on quack? When I lived in New York you couldn't give ducks away. In Chinatown the ducks were hung out in the shop windows and from the looks of the mummified cadavers they'd been waiting to be bought for years. That's what it seemed like, anyway.

Someone must have decided the solution was to feed surplus ducks to cats. It would be a crime not to make money off something you can breed and tin. No wonder poor Sabrina was sick.

Still, glancing over the cat food -- making sure there wasn't more duck -- seeing shrimp and scallops, veal, rainbow trout, Maine lobster, filet mignon, whipped egg souffle and savory greens, I have to admit...if I weren't a vegetarian I'd be tempted.