I guess I've had my April Fools joke today thanks to the new pancake syrup.

After I fought my way past the cellophane collar around the top of the plastic container and flipped the cap open I was shocked -- well, okay that's too strong a word to apply to pancake syrup -- I was mildly surprised to see, rather than the usual circular opening a sort of smiley face arrangement consisting of an oval and two small holes. It looked like it was laughing at me. Little did I know.

Well, I'm not averse to progress. I pride myself on changing with the times. I've managed to accustom myself to the squeezable mustard containers that replaced jars and when the hole in the mayonnaise container evolved into a long, thin gap that laid down a sheet of mayo, did I panic? Not for long. I did curse a little when I realized that the new dispensing arrangement only worked as long as the container was two thirds full forcing you to scoop the last third out with the butter knife.

However, as I wax nostalgic, my pancakes are quickly getting cold on the plate. Continuing this morning's story, I held the syrup container with its smiley face dispenser over the plate in the usual manner and almost immediately syrup ran down the side. I tried squeezing --- oops! Even worse. I held the container upside down without squeezing. Just as bad. The whole side of the container was sticky with syrup. There was more syrup on my hands than on the pancakes.

Finally I got the pancakes covered and wiped off the container and my hands with a wet paper towel. That's when I noticed what it said on the label:

New! No drip!

I stuck the plastic joker back in the fridge, my feet sticking to the floor on the way. Apparently the syrup had made it all the way to my feet. Progress is fine but who'd have guessed at my age I'd have to relearn how to pour syrup or change my socks every time I had pancakes?