Eric Mayer

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Politics is something I usually avoid like the plague it is. But how can I fail to comment on a recent story in The Huffington Post which reveals that "...a Republican member of the Tennessee state legislature emailed constituents ... with a rumor circulating in conservative circles that President Barack Obama is planning to stage a fake assassination attempt in an effort to stop the 2012 election from happening."

Yeah, I'm sure. When I read that I recalled the 1960 election. I was ten and it was the first election I took an interest in. Like most ten year olds I was an authoritarian who figured violence was always the answer. Hey, it worked for Batman and Superman!

I backed Richard Nixon because he was Vice President. Experience counts. Just like my Nixon/Lodge campaign buttons said. (Wearing those buttons which were *real neat* constituted the extent of my "backing") And besides, who was this Kennedy guy anyway?

I started drawing an epic soap-opera-like comic about a fictional election, because I've always dealt with the world by writing about it. This was a roman a clef, pitting the good candidate, Nix, against the evil Kenney. (Back then it had to be either Good or Evil with nothing in between so I guess I foresaw today's political climate.)

A campaign doesn't have the requisite action for a comic. How many times could Nix and Kenney come to blows during a debate? Nor did the election hold much suspense. What kind of Godless commie wouldn't vote for the Vice President of the Unites States? So I came up with a plot twist. In order to gain sympathy, Kenney would stage a fake assassination attempt!

If only I were still ten. I could be a big wheel in conservative circles these days.

Unfortunately I don't remember how my story turned out. Probably I abandoned it for a more interesting project. Squirrels with flame throwers or atomic pigeons. The outcome of the real election was a shocker. My fifth grade teacher walked into the classroom, tears streaming down her cheeks,and announced, "Kennedy won. Now we'll all be taking orders from the Pope." I guess there were more commies willing to vote against the Vice President than I figured, but oddly, they weren't Godless....

In a horrible irony, Kennedy was assassinated. By then I realized he wasn't a bad guy. I was in my Junior High history class when I heard. Our teacher came in and told us, "Someone's shot the president. If he lives he's a shoo-in to win the next election."


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