So, I'm reading the infamous biography of Hudson Taylor now, of which I'd heard often, but had never read. Two reflections after the first hundred pages.

First, his story begins with him as a lad, but seventeen, and remninds me greatly of me, in some ways. Mostly, that he is fundamentally, deeply, and irrevocably moved by the impossible fact of free salvation. A man whose work changed the world, or at least huge swathes of his beloved China, was motivated solely by the fact that he could trust God, thanks to the Cross, for everything.

Seriously, a slew of works to pale the glory of many a canonized saint, is launched by some guy who at 17 realized that none of it was necessary, and was so astounded by this good news that was was utterly, utterly compelled to tell people who might otherwise never know, about Jesus. Behold, the power of sola!

People who fret about overkill when it comes to grace, about morality and the necessary need of personal improvement, don't get it. Hudson Taylor knew. Freedom changes things. Grace moves worlds, it's a lever and a place to stand. Flinching from the question of death and life means a real poverty, compared to the rich reward and crown, from faith, to faith -- alone.

Second, I really like Hudson Taylor because he's a guy, a guy who says, "I'm Hudson Taylor, and I am not yet hardcore for God -- but I will to be, D.V.." And he set about making himself hardcore. The recognition of reality and the raw assessment of next steps to being really hardcore are a terrific combo.

"If I really trust God for Y, then X is the logical next step. Therefore..." He stopped reminding his boss to pay him, once emptied his pockets even of his last single coin after supper, the night before rent was due, he dropped room and board for cash in his compensation, in order to tithe completely, in short, he worked by small and simple logical steps from an average middle-class fellow to become like a patron saint, fed by ravens bringing daily bread in the desert. Jehovah Jireh.

I wanna be like this guy, but I'm veryvery afraid, because I know what it means to be hardcore for God... Lord, I believe, help my unbelief...