"Variation on the Word Sleep"

I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear

I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

Margaret Atwood


-There are a few reasons this means something to me today: I am still not sleeping for more than an hour at a time. My dreams are vivid and intense. Irrelevant, I'll come back to that later. The point being sleep is precious to me at the moment.

The other reasons, now that I think of it, are simple and too true and not going to be shared here. Not today.

I adore the poem and quote it to the stars on quiet nights when you are sleeping and I am there, but further away than you can know. Leave it at that.

more later.



soundtrack: Melanie Safka - "The Saddest Thing"