Questions from Tim:

1. What's the most horrible kitchen-related mishap you've ever had a hand in?

Hm, not sure if this counts, but . . .

When I was 16 I got my first job ever at the Cinnabon in the mall. My friend Mike was the shift manager, and it was only us and another friend there late one night (after we closed) when we discovered that the vanilla extract had something like 90 proof alcohol in it. So we did shots. Of vanilla extract. In the mall after closing. I think Mike didn't do shots or something, because I remember him making sure we all got home safely that night. Ugh. It tasted terrible and it wasn't a pleasant drunk, but it technically did the trick. Teenagers.

2. What's the most outrageous thing you've done while drunk/otherwise inebriated that you *don't* regret?

It's a toss up between body shots off the cute pagan boys at the Troll bar in Lothlorien (the nature sanctuary in Southern Indiana, see below for more) or smashing my college wine bottle collection on the sidewalk outside after a bitter run in with my recently ex-boyfriend and his old girlfriend nuzzling in my dorm hallway. I can still remember the satisfying popping crash of those bottles against the concrete, the cold air on my cheeks, the feeling that I didn't fucking care if I got caught for the first time in my life (I was always a good girl in school). It made me feel so much better that there are times (when I'm really upset) that I wish I still had the collection, just so I could smash it again.

3. If you could have any super power, what would it be?

Teleportation. I resent how time-consuming, uncomfortable and expensive long-distance travel is, and I miss many people.

4. If, by using your time machine and vast persuasive powers, you could send the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy team anywhere in time or space to give any straight guy who has ever lived a makeover/life-adjustment, to whom would you send them?

Ok, this one is the hardest of all these questions to answer, and I'm not sure why. So, here are my two answers:

On a personal level, my friend Craig, who is a fabulously talented and cute guy, but would benefit from that kind of life-adjustment/ makeover, I think, if only to boost his confidence in himself.

On a larger scale, well, Al Gore, before the previous presidential election, so he could look snazzier and get some culture/ public speaking tips and, possibly, beat Shrub in the election. Probably wouldn't have made a difference, but then again, a good image can do a lot.

5. What, if anything, do you miss most about living in Indiana?

Aside from my mom and my college friends (those who still live there, that is): Lothlorien. This was a pagan nature sanctuary in Southern Indiana, and they had the best festivals. There were beautiful camping circles, (mini communities with their own fire pit), Thunder Dome (a geodesic dome where nightly there would be a big fire and drumming and dancing -- though sometimes it would be quiet, and my sister would go down there and sing, listening to our voices bounce off the walls, making strange harmonies, wondering who that baritone was who'd just joined us ...), Troll Bar (where we could flirt with the cute long-haired pagan boys and drink too much while we rested from the dancing), Faerie (the woods, with lovely hikes and a swimming hole), Kids camp (with the best kids, who would persuade us to take them down to the swimming hole so they could swim with adult supervision, and along the way they'd teach us the names and medicinal herbs that grew wild along the path), Long House (where one wall was made entirely of empty wine bottles arranged in pretty patterns; it also had a kitchen and a library and was the only enclosed public structure other than the privies) etc. I never found anything like that out here -- the pagan community is too numerous in the Bay Area, and they kept wanting me to define what kind of pagan I was (Norse? Celtic? Greek?) and eventually I lost that spark of spirituality. I wouldn't mind going back to a festival at Lothlorien sometime.

Questions from Jenn

1. Who's your favorite Buffy character? Favorite villain? Favorite episode?

Willow, because she's geeky, smart, witchy and sexy. Spike, because he changed himself for love (not to mention he's fucking hot). Favorite episode is a toss up between Hush, Once More with Feeling and that one where Spike and Buffy literally bring the house down. Oh yeah.

2. Besides being a writer, what's your dream job?

I wanted to be a dancer when I was little, but I don't think I would've ended up liking it very much. I suppose I'd have to say successful actress, actually. I really love acting and theatre, and I think I'd like the spotlight/ money and fame aspect of Hollywood. Notice that I say successful, not struggling.

3. Which of your stories - published or unpublished - are you the most proud of, and why?

When We Were Twelve (unpublished for now). It was hard to write, both in terms of subject matter and execution, and yet I feel I pulled it off. This story could've easily squicked me, and instead it ended up being really satisfying. I'm really proud of coming up with a new twist on a fairy tale that's been done many times before, as well as a few other inventive things I worked into the text. I'm also inordinately fond of the title :-)

4. What's the sexiest (PG-rated) outfit a man can wear? How about a woman?

Man: Um, tight jeans and a fitted t-shirt showing off a nice physique -or- boxer briefs. I bought Tim a nice dark red henley and khaki-colored painter's pants for Xmas and I'm completely gooey over him in that outfit. An expensive suit or tux is always nice, too.

Woman: Oh, lord. Low-cut shirts over, as my co-worker Heathen used so call it, a nice rack. Short skirts (I'm fond of flippy ones, actually) with boots or heels. Hip-hugging jeans that show a bit of navel. I can be a complete lech when it comes to attractive women, I'm afraid.

5. When you were a kid, what was your most prized possession?

It depends on the age, of course, but overall . . . my bike. I used to ride it everywhere in the neighborhood behind our house (we lived on a busy street, but the neighborhood was pretty low traffic), and eventually I even got to ride it to the library (crossing two very busy streets!) or the ice cream parlor, so it meant freedom. Before I was taking small trips, though, I used to race the neighborhood boys on their bikes, or, when alone, practice bike acrobatics in a cul de sac -- I'd ride very fast into the court, then hop up on the seat, hold onto the handlebars and lean forward with one leg extended behind me in an arabesque. I could do that over and over again -- standing one legged on the seat, steering the handlebars around to follow the curve of the court so I wouldn't run out of room before I ran out of momentum. Man, I thought I was a badass for being able to do that. It was so fun.

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2 - I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
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4 - You'll include this explanation.
5 - You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.