I'm not really a sucker. Sure, when I first moved out here from Indiana, I had guys fucking with me on the street all the time. I was followed more than once, nearly mugged and kicked once, had men masturbate near me on buses and the train (aka BART), and was panhandled relentlessly. After about a year of living out here, though, I acquired a walk that told people not to fuck with me so much, and it got better.

Recently, I've noticed that certain outfits seem to knock me back into "please fuck with me" status. I thought it was the skirts -- every time I wear a flowy skirt, I have to deal with many more street people than I usually do -- but yesterday I was wearing pants and a tank top. So, now the only common factor is the hat. I even have a new hat -- it's black with taupe stitching all around it -- which is much sleeker than my old green straw "crazy lady" hat. But, well....

So, I'm sitting on BART. I actually had just moved into a sideways facing seat because I get less motion sick when sitting sideways for some reason. This young, college-age guy sitting across from me looks at me kind of nervously, then moves across and sits next to me.

"Man, I'm really embarrassed to be asking this," he begins.

I'm wary, but I say, "Yeah?"

"I'm from Alabama," (cue accent), "I got to Alabama State and everything, and I'm here visiting. I need to go to Pittsburgh -- the Pittsburg station, I mean -- and I only have $1.40 on my BART card and it costs $3.75. I feel really weird asking you for money, but I don't know what to do; can you help me out?"

Ok, so maybe I'm a big softy, but I'm not an idiot. I think about asking for his college ID but instead decide to ask...

"Ok, let me see this BART card."

"What?" He wasn't expecting a test.

"This BART card with only $1.40 on it. Let me see it."

He starts digging in his pocket as we pull into a station. He looks up and asks, "What station is this?"

"Montgomery."

"Oh! Gotta go!" and he books out the door.

Yeah, little fucker. I felt pretty smug for the elegant way I got rid of him. I'm not that much of a sucker.