The sky has a scrubbed-clean look today, a startling clarity to the air letting the eye see further than its used to for San Francisco. I imagine the cause to be the sound beating by rain the area took last night. I slept through it, because rain makes me sleep very deeply (that and the earplugs I've been using lately), but Tim claims he's never seen it rain so hard, this coming from a boy raised in hurricane country.

Last night on the train I saw two heavily armed soldiers walk through the length of train. When I say heavily armed, I'm talking machine guns. One had his black weapon of mass death in his hands, the other had his slung across his back, bouncing against his back as he walked and banging against my wheeled backpack as he walked past. I nearly jumped out of my skin when that happened; I hate guns. I am terrified of guns. I wig out around guns. I have held an (unloaded) gun once in my life and even then I did not point it or load it and try shooting but cradled the heavy, oily thing in my hands much like you would a baby bird. A dangerous baby bird with razors for a beak.

The armed men have succeeded in freaking me out about taking BART, especially next Monday and Tuesday. Gah.

In other news, I am in full wedding planning mode. A conversation with me might go something like this:

Me: So, how are you?

You: Not so good. My job is tough right now.

Me: Ah, I'm sorry. You know what else is tough? Making a wedding guest list. And finding an affordable photographer! Man, are they pricey! And....

In other words, I suck at chatting right now and may possibly remain this way for the next year.

Ok, so I'm not quite so bad, but it does occupy most of my thinking time.

This while I'm supposed to be working on finishing up my novel. I tried to write some yesterday and I think the crappiness of the words depressed me more than not writing at all. Part of the problem is that the end of the book is morphing. I think, once I get it down, it's better for it, but right now I'm not even sure how I'm going to write this new ending. But I can't let myself use my old, sometimes valid excuses such as "I need to read what I have so far again first" or "I need to type in the vast handwritten bits before I surge forward", both of which take lots of time.

What else? Oh yes, I saw my sister Holly perform with a flamenco group on the Yerba Buena Arts stage this weekend. I've seen many professional dance performances there in the past, and I teared up and had tingly sensations up and down my arms when I saw her up there. She was very good. She has worked very hard. I am so very damn proud of her.