This is my first journal entry as a married woman.

Everything in the past couple days has been "the last time I do this as a single person, the first time I do that as a married woman."

I'm going to just do Saturday for now, and hopefully get that down before I go back and blog the rest of weddingcon.

We had a rough start of things Saturday morning. Tim had had a migraine for hours during the night and I was tired from being up and a bit hungover from too much fun at the fabulous wine & cheese party that Scott, Lynne and Jenn organized for us the night before. We woke up, drank water, emergen'c (pretty good hangover cure), eventually some breadstuff/ cereal and coffee. I was just starting to feel human when my mom showed up to do the flowers. We'd bought a bunch of flowers on Thursday, and although we'd done the bouquets, the boutonierres and corsages still had to be made. I didn't actually help her with those at all, other than to see what she'd done and say, "Oh! Perfect perfect, so pretty, thank you!" before running off to my hair appointment.

My hair was supposed to take 45 minutes, but instead took nearly two hours. However, Kristen, my hair stylist, is about my age and really fun to talk to, and not only did she actively indulge me going on about the wedding, but added her own stories and insights and generally made the time fly. Tim called me about an hour and a half into it, a bit worried that I wasn't back yet, but I assured him that it would all be ok -- the wedding was going to happen, enough wheels were in motion already. I'm pretty pleased with how calm I was all day Saturday, and I had more than one person comment on it. I think I was just so happy, it instilled a sense of calm.

Back home, where I threw stuff in bags (wedding shoes, jewelry, makeup, etc) and showed Lynne (my fabulous, amazing go-to person) what stuff needed to go up to the Sequoia Lodge. Mom, Holly, Aleister and I went over to the Diablo Suite at the Best Western (which Jenn, Scott & Lynne had generously rented so we'd have it for things like this) where we joined Jenn and Susan in getting ready. The amazing Dawson (sorry, he goes by Cameron now, but Tim calls him Dawson, so I get to, too) came in and gave me a quick stress-relieving neck rub (he's studying Chinese medicine, accupuncture/ pressure so he's *really good* at this). We put on makeup, my sister showed off her hairstyling talents on the other women (she got Jenn's blond locks looking like a '40's moviestars). I was running late, but all that really meant was that instead of having time to lounge around the suite once we were ready to go, we just got in cars and headed off to the wedding. Matt drove Susan and I, and I sat in the backseat, generally taking up the whole space with my huge skirt.

At the site, Scott shooed Tim off so he didn't see me too soon. We pinned flowers on various honored folks. The photographer took pictures, Mom put my veil on. I saw various guests and said hello. Pinned on more flowers. Finally, it was time to begin.

I couldn't really see most of the wedding party walk down the aisle. Holly and Scott (my maid of honor/ sister and Tim's best man/ long-time friend) went first, followed by Jenn and Wayne (Tim's bro), followed by Susan (wedding pics at that last linkie-pooh), Greg and Richard (a coworker and dear friend). Then the children. David tried to remind Aleister (my almost-3-yr-old nephew) what he'd been rehearsing for weeks now, but I'm told he did ok, then veered off into the woods for a minute before they wrangled him back. Excellent! Teddy (the Locus baby all grown up at 5 years old) was a flower girl pro, and she went slowly down the aisle, spreading rose petals evenly and serenely.

Then it was my turn.

I have always wanted to get married outside, and the grounds around the Sequoia Lodge perfectly fit my idea of the backdrop of our wedding. I walked down the white aisle runner, over rose petals, between the trees. I had (small) heels on, which sunk into the earth. My dress was heavy. For the first few seconds all I could think of was "don't fall over!". Then I got my bearings and looked up at Tim, beaming at me with joy from his place by the altar.

Gods, it was gorgeous.

The ceremony was lovely. Tim's friend from college, Dawson, performed the ceremony, which he wrote just for us, and it was touching, beautifully written and very special. We read each other our vows. You can read Tim's vows (and his account of the day); here are mine:

I, Heather Shaw, take you, Tim Pratt, to be my husband. By this I do not mean simply that we will merely occupy the same space, but that we will occupy the same life. The past few years have been the best of my life, and if I hadn't met you on that sunny St. Patrick's Day my life would not be nearly so full of joy as it is today. But you were there, and you wooed me with your words afterwards until I was so in love with you that I cried in happiness. I knew I wanted to marry you so soon after we met, and that joy has only increased. That joy is why I'm standing at this altar today with you.

We've both grown since then, sure, but now we reach for the same sun, our lives intertangled so that we are one. Today, we make it official. Today, I stand here in front of our family and friends and declare: yes! I love Tim Pratt and I want us to spend the rest of our lives together.

My dearest Tim, I promise to love you as we grow old together, to learn you, to know you at 30, 45, 87, to love you a little more every day.

I promise to help you achieve your dreams.

I promise to stand up for you, to cheer for you, to be here for you.

I promise to take care of you when you're ill and frolic with you when you're well.

I promise to help us build a family together, a home, a life. If we have children, I promise to love them, to be a good partner to you as we figure out parenting.

When we're flush, I promise to enjoy it with you and when we're not, I promise to help us figure it out.

My love, I promise to bring you joy in any way I can. I promise to love you unconditionally, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you. I promise to hold sacred our life together for as long as we both shall live.

Susan read excerpts from the honey-marooned section of Kelly Link's "Shoe and Marriage" and Greg read the entirety of Ellen Bass's "Encinitas Love Poem". Tim and I exchanged rings. We were pronounced married and we kissed and then we walked down the aisle together.

Teddy continued evenly strewing flowers on the way out. Hee.

And then I was a married woman, married to the most wonderful, perfect man for me I can imagine.


That's the ceremony. This is getting long, so I'll post this and do the reception (hopefully) tomorrow.

For now I will simply sum up and say it was perfect. I couldn't be happier.