I just found out today that I have to give a deposition next week.

Every time a call comes into the office, it gets recorded, just in case anyone ever asks us to prove that such-and-such phone call either occurred or did not occur. I have phone logs going back to 1995 and in all that time, nobody has ever asked us to prove a damn thing.

Until now.

I guess a certain person was going around presenting himself as an attorney, when in fact he was not. He made the mistake of referring a client to our office, and I have him noted on the phone sheet as having called himself “Attorney insert name here".

Ooops.

So I have to go to a fancy lawyer’s office and swear that I am the custodian of records for the office, tell what the procedure is for logging calls and show off my incriminating phone records. It shouldn’t be a long process and it’s not particularly intimidating since they actually want my information and there won’t be a cross exam.

But still, it all seems so Very Grown Up.

I have only ever testified one other time and that was for a collection case where we sued someone for the money they owed us. I think that was more nerve wracking because there were actual consequences for our office if I screwed up. I did fine and we won, so I don’t know what I’m worried about. I guess I don’t like the idea that somebody will be recording every word I say and that later, a whole slew of interns and paralegals will pore over my words and pick me apart, looking for something I did or said that was wrong.

And – oh geez – what am I going to wear?


Reading:
Zorro - Isabel Allende

Hearing:
Los Lonely Boys

Needing:
To Go Home.

In My Car CD Player:
Choke - Chuck Palahniuk. He's the guy who wrote Fight Club. It's an interesting book so far - it's about a sex addict who dropped out of med school and now works in a living history museum as a peasant and in the evenings he feigns choking in restaurants to pay for his mother's nursing home bills. He also, according to the back cover, eventually comes to believe that he is a descendant of Jesus Christ. But I haven't gotten to that part yet. He has no redeeming qualities whatsoever and yet I like him.