There are things I should be doing. I am sure of it. But I can’t seem to make my brain settle on one. So here I am, another day with the boss out all day, and I could be productive, should be productive but I can’t quite get to it yet. Part of me feels like a teenager, like I am waiting for something to happen. Part of me is overwhelmed and trying not to think about the impending craziness of the weekend. Now that I think about it, maybe those two parts are one and the same.

I am in charge of a big event for Cub Scouts on Saturday. I did it last year and it went fine, so I’m not nervous or anything – there’s just a lot to do. Of course, not much of it can be done while I am tied to my desk. So I have all these things to do, and can’t do them right now. In fact there’s not a whole lot of anything to do right now. Hence, the anxiety, the waiting, the feeling like I’m on the verge of something.

And from the big Cub Scout dealie we pretty much go from thing to thing to thing all weekend, with very little time between. Which means I need to be prepared ahead of time. Not my forte.

I had to go ahead and say that about not having much to do, didn’t I? I just had a call from an attorney asking me to copy an entire file, including a video tape. I hate copying video tapes. My boss either doesn’t believe me or doesn’t remember that every time she unplugs the VCR, it needs me to reset the time and date before it will do anything. I can only do that using the remote. The remote is held together with tape (barely) and you have to shake, jiggle and smack it to get it to work. Then I have to connect the VCR and the camera together, which is annoying to do because her office is so poorly lit that I have trouble telling the difference between “in” and “out”. I realize this all makes me sound like a pathetic whiner, but I really don’t like to copy tapes. I should never type anything ever again, because I clearly brought this on myself.

In other news, I broke down and got some pants last weekend. I was in the Memorial Day Parade and I thought I should have some pants to wear, so I finally did it. I would like to point out that even though they are snug and they are technically supposed to be a “relaxed fit,” I actually got jeans in a size that I bid farewell to a few years ago and had given up on ever wearing again. I also got jeans in a size up and another size up from that. They all fit about the same – we all know that sizes are nearly random. I prefer to agree with the company that made the smaller size, if that's OK with all of you. So even though I am sure I don’t actually wear that size on a consistent basis, it’s encouraging that I seem to be moving back in that direction. It’s the little things, you know.

God, I sound incredibly superficial in this entry. Maybe I should stop now, copy that stupid, stupid tape and write again when I’ve got my head out of my ass.


Reading:
Not much. Technically still reading Zorro, but I haven't had time to pick it up in a while.

Hearing:
My dirty, dirty thoughts.

Needing:
Water.
Not to have to copy a tape.

In My Car CD Player:
Lucky, by Alice Sebold. She also wrote The Lovely Bones, which I read a few years ago. That was a novel about a murdered girl, written from her perspective as she watches from heaven. It sounds depressing but it's beautifully written. This one is a true story of the author having been attacked and raped by a stranger and dealing with the aftermath. Again, not a lighthearted story, but certainly engaging. It's read by the author, which can be either a blessing or a curse, but in this case it's a good thing. It's such a personal story, I don't think it could really have been read by anyone else.