Oh my goodness, you all are splendid friends. I've been away from JS a few days or maybe it's been a week or maybe it's been a month. The Christmas Season does that to me. I seem to be transported to a different time zone each and every hour and get all confused. Hmmm, it's probably not fair to blame Christmas. *smiling*

Thank you for all you comments regarding my last post. Oh, and profound and utterly sincere apologies that I haven't kept up with your posts. I'm really not all that egocentric. I also neglected to clean up the punctuation that gets all wonky. You all are something else. Thanks!

Barbara, several people have made the same observation as you - why didn't Vandy wait a day or two before doing the pulmonary tests. The tests are part of the protocol for the clinical trial I'm in. Clinical trials operate with a pretty rigid set of rules. I was actually concerned that I might be bumped from the trial because of my cold. I couldn't even use my oxygen because I was so congested.

Though I could intellectualize the poor results I fumbled a bit with a short bout of despair. I'm okay now, but I do wonder if the flu/cold created any permanent damage. In three months I have another high definition CAT Scan. That will be the most definitive indicator. I carry hope with me at all times.

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I started a book club 6 years ago. We are a close knit group that breathes in new members when the need arises. The impetus for my book club was more about outreach than literary acumen. This sometimes compels my eyes to roll when we negotiate books to read. Nonetheless, the group is marvelous. I share with you an email I sent to them tonight:

People find my upbeat attitude about my illness as being heroic. It ain't, I'm not. I would like to think that most people handed a terminal diagnosis would react the very same way - continue to live life to its fullest. What is remarkable and people underrate is that I'm doing this all alone... and well-meaning fabulous friends try to convince me that I'm not. Well - I am - and quite proud of myself for the strength I muster each day to battle my disease alone. But keep those prayers coming - I know them, I feel them, I listen for them - and I can't ever thank you enough. Really and truly.

I never thought that in my lifetime I would be a reluctant hero. Gah and double-gah. I really think people under estimate themselves. You, too, Eric! :) Perhaps what is heroic is that I do it all alone. What perhaps is heroic is that I transform that aloneness into empowerment. And that's what I do - I look for the positive in everything I face and do. It sure has made my illness easier. Seriously.

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After David graduates from W&L School of Law, he will take the Bar Exam. The Army doesn't care which Bar he passes. If he was so inclined he could go to South Dakota, which has an easy Bar. Virginia's Bar is tough so I think he plans to take the NJ and PA Bars which have generous reciprocals. After he passes the Bar, David will not start officer's training until 2/2014. During those 6 months he plans to live with me on The Mountain. Me happy. There's a private school spitting distance from my home and I have *good* connections - my Pastor's husband teaches physics at SAS. He's going to try to facilitate an opportunity for David. Yay!

Okay. I'm nearly finished for tonight. I drive to Nashville tomorrow and will be there for 5 days when David flies in and we drive back up to the mountain.

Happy New Year!