Yesterday wasn't a bad day, nor was it especially good. It was complicated. I'll write about it tomorrow because there's something more important for today.

My cousin, albeit second cousin, died this week. I have no words except that a bright light was borne away to the place where her beliefs reside. Today I spoke at length with my aunt and though we were both sad, we celebrated the vibrant person Siobhan Oppenheimer-Nicolau was.

(Her first marriage was to an Oppenheimer - yes, THAT Oppenheimer. A legend Siobhan perpetuated was that on the night she decided to leave her marriage, she grabbed her children as well as a fistful of diamonds and never returned. Is it no wonder that I adored this woman!)

Siobhan was a very busy person, yet always took the time to *be for me*. I last talked to her 8 months ago and had no idea she might be ill. We exchanged emails every so often. Her advice was invaluable. Over the years I've also had the good fortune to visit her in Ireland. Seated at her dinner table insured that one would enjoy a memorable evening.

She was stunningly beautiful in all ways. I miss her more with each word I type.


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It's not that I'm jaded, but I don't impress easily... but Siobhan's life story is over-the-top impressive.

Her back story is fascinating. It's a Cinderella story. I add this disclaimer that I may be fuzzy on some details but I write with the truth I've heard for many years.

Siobhan's father was chauffeur/caretaker on a large estate on Long Island. I would have to guess this was during the 1930s. The estate was quite large with paved roads. Above the garage were apartments where the cook and household staff lived. Siobhan and her parents lived in a caretaker's cottage that even by today's standards was quite lovely. The estate was expansive with many acres and a barn for livestock and chickens and such.

The owner, I'll call Mrs. Caldwell, was a widow with no heirs. Over the years she enjoyed Siobhan's company and introduced her to the arts through concerts and ballet and opera and stage. Mrs. Caldwell also groomed Siobhan with a love for books and a hunger for higher education. She paid for Siobhan's education at Goucher College and I'm sure mentored and assisted in ways too numerous to write about here. Upon Mrs. Caldwell's death, Siobhan was named executrix of the estate and inherited a large portion of all there was. I forgot to mention that the Long Island estate was Mrs. Caldwell's summer residence. She also resided at a posh address at Beekman.

In addition to the biographical information listed below, I believe Siobhan was, by presidential appointment, given a position with a US Arts Commission of sorts - am foggy on those details, but I have heard firsthand some of her stories while she was traveling the globe to promote the arts. During one of our visits to Ireland, my son, David, was surprised to see a photo of Siobhan SCUBA diving with Fidel Castro - and Siobhan's telling of her experience of being on Tiananmen Square during the riots and then smuggling three students out of China. Oye! The stories!

Today I spent some time researching Siobhan's life. Quite frankly, it was remarkable!

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Siobhan Oppenheimer-Nicolau
Ewing Kauffman trustee biography

Siobhan Oppenheimer-Nicolau, a respected consultant to numerous U.S. foundations and corporations, returned to the Foundation's Board of Trustees in 2003. Oppenheimer-Nicolau first joined the Kauffman Foundation as a board member in 1993, after having served as a consultant to Ewing Kauffman. She left the Kauffman board in September 2002 when her term ended.

Oppenheimer-Nicolau serves as president of the Hispanic Policy Development Project (HPDP), a policy analysis group she helped to establish in 1981. The HPDP focuses on the needs of the country's Hispanic population from ages 15 to 24.

Prior to the founding of HPDP, Oppenheimer-Nicolau was a senior program officer at the Ford Foundation where she developed the nation's largest philanthropic program devoted to the concerns of Hispanic Americans. Currently she is president of the National Film Archive of Philanthropy, a program that chronicles the stories of outstanding philanthropies, creating a body of counsel, wisdom and practical advice for those who are planning to create foundations.

Since 1987 Oppenheimer-Nicolau has organized and conducted the annual Aspen Institute Seminar, Hispanic American and the Business Community, for business leaders. She is a board member of Public/Private Ventures and the Enterprise Foundations.

Oppenheimer-Nicolau has written a number of publications offering a cultural perspective on school reform. She wrote the "glass ceiling" report for the U.S. Department of Labor and has provided consulting services to GEMS International Television, Univision Television Network, Hallmark Corporation, Levi Strauss, the Buck Trust, the Walton Foundation, the Daniel and Joanna S. Rose Fund, Inc., and the Academy for Educational Development.

Oppenheimer-Nicolau graduated from Goucher College with Phi Beta Kappa honors. She continued language study at The New School and earned certification as a Spanish/English translator and interpreter at the Latin American Institute.

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First Nations Oweesta Corporation

Company Description: First Nations Oweesta Corporation is a wholly-held subsidiary of First Nations Development Institute dedicated to growing the Native Community Development Financial Institution industry. The launch of Oweesta has directly contributed to the availability of needed debt capital in tribal communities.

Member of The Board

Siobhan Oppenheimer-Nicolau has been active in the foundation/trust arena for more than 40 years. Along with Waldemar A. Nielsen and John Gardner, Mrs. Nicolau founded the National Film Archive of Philanthropy that is now housed at Georgetown University. Previously, she held the title of senior program officer with the Ford Foundation, and has served as a consultant to the Edna McConnell Clark Foundation, The Nord Family Fund, The Enterprise Foundation, The Walton Family Foundation, The Carlson Family Trust, The Lorio Foundation, The A & A Family Foundation, The Buck Trust, The Arco Foundation, The Hallmark Foundation, The Eisman Foundation and The Piper Trust. Mrs. Nicolau is the chairman emeritus of Public/Private Ventures and was a personal advisor to Ewing Marion Kauffman in the design of his billion-dollar Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, where she serves as a trustee. She lives with her husband in Manhattan and in Banteer, Ireland

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Siobhan Oppenheimer-Nicolau
New York City, NY

Ms. Oppenheimer-Nicolau served as program officer responsible for major Hispanic and Latino projects for the Ford Foundation for more than 15 years and now advises corporations and foundations on education programs for Hispanics. She has published widely on Hispanic education and public policy and is a member of the board of several cultural and education groups including the Alvin Ailey City Center Dance Theater.

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HISPANIC POLICY DEVELOPMENT PROJECT (HPDP)
36 E. 22nd Street, 9th Floor
New York, NY 10010
Siobhan Oppenheimer-Nicolau, President

HPDP, a private nonprofit organization, is a national policy analysis group focusing on the special characteristics and needs of the country's Hispanic population from ages 15 to 24. HPDP seeks to influence the development of positive public policy as it affects education and employment. HPDP publishes pioneering demographic studies, conducts surveys and polls, issues position papers, and convenes Hispanic and non-Hispanic leaders from business, government, professional groups, the media, and human services groups in seminars and conferences.

(I believe the films and documents are at Georgetown University)

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Guide to the Siobhan Nicolau Papers, 1968-1981

(I believe these papers are at Stanford)

This collection contains papers amassed by Siobhan Oppenheimer-Nicolau during her tenure as Program Officer at the Ford Foundation. It includes important documentation chronicling the development of the Southwest Council of La Raza, the controversies surrounding the Mexican American Youth Organization and the Nixon administration crisis concerning bribery and influence brokering between federal employees and grant applicants from Hispanic community organizations. While the collection is primarily concerned with the formation of specifically Hispanic grant programs, other minority groups and public policy objectives are also represented within the Nicolau Papers. As a whole, these documents provide insight on the changing philanthropic goals of the Ford Foundation from the late 1960's through early 1980's, as well as the diversity of the applicants themselves.

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The Irish Cousins
Siobhan is flanked on the left by my Uncle Richard and on the right by my father, Buddy Lewisy

I took this photo the last time I was in Ireland - aren't they all gorgeous!




Siobhan with Mary Lewisy




As glamorous as Siobhan's life was, my aunt and I agree that she was happiest in Ireland - far, far away from the bustle. The past few years she spent time at her apartment in Manhattan, too, but I think she yearned to return to Ireland - the sod of her ancestors. And that is where she returned to die. I love, love, love that she made that choice.

And that brings me to the title of this post. Aren't we all just passing through? And aren't there some we wish would linger longer?