Something has changed.

Something more than the cooler air of autumn

Something more than the hastened joy of a new day

Something more than the love of family

Something more than the inviting aromas from this mother's kitchen

Something more than the blessings of friendship

Something more than the gift of time I've been given

Something more.

*****

In defiance, I got on my hands and knees and washed my floors yesterday. It's not crazy denial. I know I'm very ill. It was something I needed to do.

I grasped my kitchen counter, pulled myself up, and smiled.

I continue to embrace the challenge of ordinariness... perhaps regretting that in the past I neglected to acknowledge its beauty and comfort.

I continue to live like I'm healthy. Didn't I just host an impromptu party last weekend?

*****

Two days ago I felt a Richter Scale shift far more finite than the cosmos. The tremor happened in the crater of my chest. My lungs. I felt a snap as the shift rumbled and ricocheted through my body.

So, I scrubbed floors. I invited the Ordinary into my life.

It gave me satisfaction.

*****

I'm so grateful to be scheduled at Vanderbilt next week for an evaluation for a double lung transplant.

It's time.

I'm not married so I have no one legally bound to stand beside me. Instead, I have three amazing people who have chosen to stand beside me. Chosen. A word hasn't been invented to express my gratitude.

For the evaluation, people are coming from Virginia, Texas... and of course The Mountain. I've arranged hotel accommodations for us to be together.

It's all so very good.

*****

This afternoon I think I'll prepare dates wrapped in bacon. My family is coming to the mountain for Thanksgiving and they like these a lot.