Something has gnawed at me for a long time. Something I've wanted to clarify. Something that others might recognize as a problem in their own lives. It's not a huge problem. Probably doesn't deserve a blog entry, but it's important to me that I've discovered my own clarification.

Several years ago someone tried to bully me into admitting that David, my youngest, is my favorite. She was adamant - only because she admitted to clearly having her own favorite child. I felt her accusations were unfair, perhaps trying to justify her own choices.

Here's my clarification, my heartfelt truth about my three amazing children.

First of all, all three are terribly bright and brilliant and unique. All three are happy. They've chosen well their spouses. They wake each day eager to get to work because they enjoy their career choices. They are these observations and so much more - and each illuminates a special place in my heart.



Chase


In addition to being bright and brilliant and witty and very handsome, Chase is my sweetest child. He has always been sweet except for those first few colicky weeks as a newborn. (I blame those colicky weeks on my awkward first-time parenting.) Chase was my unfortunate first born. Though I stumbled through his childhood, he was always sweet... and still is.

There are so many other fine qualities I could write about... he's generous and humble, so very humble. He's also an amazing writer. But to choose the best word to describe Chase, it would be that he is my sweetest child.





This grainy photo is one of my favorites.






























*****




Rachel


In addition to being bright and brilliant and witty and very beautiful, Rachel is my strongest child. She stares down challenges with grace uniquely hers. She partners that courage with the most (and I mean most) amazing sense of humor. Rachel was my unfortunate middle child. The child who may have felt forgotten at times because the first born will always be first, the last born will always be last. If she ever (to my regret) felt ignored it was because I knew she was my strongest, the one I never had to worry about, my hero.


















































*****



David


In addition to being bright and brilliant and witty and very handsome, David is the child I'm closest to. This, my friends, is where people confuse themselves. Just because I'm closest to David, it doesn't make him my favorite.

Chase and Rachel were teenagers when David was born. When David was 6 I became a single parent. We spent many years together in the trenches. There were challenging years with many, many glorious moments.

David was the unfortunate last child with many years gaping between my first and last. When David arrived, I knew he was the most selfish gift I'd ever given myself. I've never taken a moment for granted. I knew the clock would spin too fast... and it did.

David has had the burden of an older parent who perhaps cherished him too intensely, who wanted the hands on the clock to backstroke through the years. The two of us spent a lot of time together and that is why I am closest to him.












David pretty much grew up without TV but we always found plenty of things to do. We read a lot and talked a lot... and just about every evening he performed a skit of his design. This photo was taken during one of his skits. (I can hear his eyes rolling.)


































Brothers and Sister and more





Love this photo of Rachel & David






In Ireland







David's High School Graduation







Rachel & Chase






Rachel & Chase in High School







Thankful for the years