This post is a compilation.

I'm especially inspired to pluck out a post because I just spent the most divine 15+ minutes doing something I've really, really wanted to do and haven't had the time or energy.

(Time, you might ask? Yes, time is a precious commodity for me these days. I tire very quickly. Fatigue rolls in like a dense fog. It's not that I'm sleepy - I tire. It creeps up on me and then *POW*)

It was glorious! I was on my screened porch where it remains cool even in 90 degree heat. That's an added bonus to living in a forest of trees. I lost the stars, the moon, and the sun when I moved to this mountain nine years ago... but I'm cocooned during a time in my life that I like being cocooned.

I propped up a canvas and started to paint. Song birds were singing while a veryveryvery gentle breeze created gentle shadows on the walls. I paused and sighed a good sigh.

I couldn't hear my concentrators - the constant rumble of motors inventing oxygen for my lungs. It was about as close to *normal* as I've been in almost 3 years.


*****


I regret that I have to enforce new rules. This need has simply sneaked up on me. Unless it's a special occasion, I have to limit visitors. Necessary medical people suck up a lot of my time and energy - I can't edit those people from my life as much as I would like to, but I can't. Visitors are going to have to be limited to 15-30 minutes. People need to treat a visit like they are visiting me at a hospital. I l-o-v-e to see people but the hard truth is that I tire too fast. I trick people because I choose to live like I'm healthy. I know how to be *on* when people are with me... but the fatigue becomes crippling.

I need more time on my porch. I need to hear the birds sing. I need to feel the gentle breezes.

This all makes me sad, but there's also joy in acknowledging my needs and installing boundaries and to know what gives me pleasure.


*****






My new rules don't apply to Willow, my beautiful Willow who visited today. We don't see enough of each other. Life gets in the way. Many of you may not know that Willow is a survivor of three cancers. Like many, she's a walking miracle... and most definitely a miracle in my life.


*****


Every day I address a few more of the envelopes for Olivia and David's Rehearsal Dinner in September. A couple of weeks ago Bonus Cousin Betty offered to have someone in Kansas City address them in a beautiful calligrapher's script. I'd also thought about engaging someone on the mountain to address the envelopes. One evening, though, when David and I were talking about these possibilities, he said, "I think it would be nice if the invitations were in your handwriting."

Now, I know that might not sound like much but it meant the world to me that he said that. You all are smart enough to figure it out. After the close of our conversation, I wept for all the gratitude I had for this son of mine.

These are the type of things that linger in my thoughts, my heart each day. In years past these little teeny tiny events like singing birds or gentle breezes or addressing envelopes wouldn't have even been a blip in my day. Now they mean the world to me.


*****


This absolutely beautiful piece of art arrived this week - a gift from Olivia's Aunt Phyllis. It's a brooch that I think I might frame. It's breathtaking. Olivia's family has been so kind to me. I am one lucky woman!





*****


I've had to be strong and persistent and then some, but a third concentrator is being delivered to my home so I'll have the capability for up to 26LO2. I owe many thinks to my friend Pieter and his research on my behalf.

It's a huge problem that most doctors and especially oxygen providers are not familiar with IPF. Today my Hospice RN told me that they just had two new IPF patients enter their care. There is no pleasure in me saying, "I told you so."

IPF has been misdiagnosed for many many years and patients not receiving necessary care. This old lady was getting worn out - I've been trying to get everyone responsible for my care to hear me. Finally!

While I type the additional equipment is en route.


*****


The following are additions to my collection.





Mrs. Johnson-Smith by Marius Park






Three Friends by t-Marie Nolan






Diver & Tiger by t-Marie Nolan






Biking to Work by t-Marie Nolan


As always, thanks for stopping by. Love.

P.S. Ignore my new rules. I couldn't bear to miss a visit from someone.