Zach Braff was a member of Phi Psi at Northwestern (my house). He has visited the house like once or twice in recent years (he is here on campus today, which is why I am telling this story). His picture remains mounted on our chapter room wall and has been used by many a brother of mine as a pickup line to lure unsuspecting women into the chapter room (I myself am 0-1 with that but technically it doesn't count because I did not really have _those_ intentions).

In any event, at our alumni homecoming this year, some of Zach's pledge brothers were there, and, of course, the subject of Mr. Braff was brought up. Let's just say that Zach Braff is a true Phi Psi, because here is what they said his claim to fame was:

During parties and other events in which females were present at the house, Zachie boy would place wireless microphones either on women or in the bathroom that the women would use and record their conversations for goodness knows what purpose. The most famous of these conversations was between two women in the bathroom where they were complaining about how many dorky guys (c'mon, we're Phi Psi's, what do you expect) were at the party. One of them clearly said the following line, which will forever live in infamy within the walls of the chapter house at 2247 Sheridan Road:

"There's like 6 miles of cock at this party!!!! But all I really want is 6 inches."

And I think that just about says it all about Zach Braff, fraternity life, women, and Northwestern in general.