Mary, my boss and new mother, and I were talking today about motherhood. It's quite an adjustment and we were talking about that.

I related motherhood, and the feelings you get with the birth of your child, with a constant humming that some people have in their brain.

Let me explain.

During pregnancy, something happens to you. You have this thing inside you (a wonderful miracle) and in the birthing process, it enters the world.

But it's always with you, even when it's not. It's like that freeway noise that I have constantly at my condo (living near 35 and 635 as I do) or the airplane noise I hear (only after 9/11/01 did I realize that I even have airplane noise, since when the airlines were not flying did I notice that it was there always...)

That's what motherhood is like. You can go days/weeks without being with your child, but it's a constant hum...they are with you always. Are they ok? Are they safe? Will you ever see them again? How can I watch over them when they are soooo far away?

And another thing...relationships with men (their father) changes...

It's not that men are so needy. But when I dote and pay attention to my child, it takes time away from the relationship with my mate. But when they/my mate dote and pay attention to my child, they are paying attention to me.

It's like an arm cut off, or an organ transplant.

I have a friend that had the upper most part of his finger cut off in an accident. Even though it wasn't there, he always felt like it was there...when he typed on a keyboard, he felt like he was typing on the tip of that finger...phantom stuff and all.

It's like that when you have a child. It may not be in me still, but it's an extension of me, no matter what. What is done to them is done to me, and it's that constant hum....rattle and hum...phantom stuff and all.