Lately, since arriving in DC last week, I have often had periods of strong emotions. I can never really tell what's going to set them off. Sometimes it's the obvious - hearing Silent Night, watching a sappy movie, thoughts of friends and family who are no longer with us in this world. At other times, it's not so obvious. Take yesterday, for example.

I decided to go to Reverend Mother's church to hear her deliver the children's sermon instead of setting off to search for a Unitarian church to call my new "home". All was fine until I walked toward the door of the church and I just had the strongest feeling that I needed to be "alone". In the crowd forming at the entrance to the church, I quickly moved away from R & C and headed to the very last row (almost) of the church and sat anonymously by myself. I closed my eyes as the flutes and pianos began to play and concentrated on the music. Many times during the service, and not at the obvious ones, I found myself feeling very sad, very lonely, very joyful, very overwhelmed, very, very, very.

Don't get me wrong. I look at this as a good thing. I think for over 2 years now (maybe almost 3 years as it probably began with the sudden passing of my children's father) I have not allowed myself to feel much.

Now with this new place and new beginning, I'm dealing with all these emotions.

I've become a snivelling idiot!