Janet points to a fantastically insightful and very funny article about the differences between introverts and extroverts: "Caring for Your Introvert" by Jonathan Rauch, originally published in The Atlantic Monthly, March 2003. The link above is to the full reprinted article, but certain paragraphs bear repeating (and I will have to restrain myself from quoting the full article).

Here are a few choice excerpts:

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands — and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.

[...]

Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay — in small doses."

[...]

With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private" — narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.

[...]

How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice?

First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.

Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"

Third, don't say anything else, either.

Writers and artists, by their nature, are introverts. We spend hours alone with our words or our paints, trying to craft something worthwhile, and we're okay with that. Every so often, we need human contact, but just enough to get us energized again. I'm perfectly happy if I'm left alone to read a book for hours on end. When Janet's painting or writing, I know to leave her alone (except to steal a quick kiss or hug). This is how we are. Like Rauch says, it's not a choice, it's who we are.

Despite the exhibitionist nature of this journal, or my apparent garrulous disposition at conventions, I'm not a terribly outgoing guy. I market the books we publish through Two Cranes Press and deal with booksellers because that's what's needed to sell copies, though I'm always uncomfortable doing so. Job interviews are hell.

Introversion is not a crime or pathology. It's an orientation, like sexual preference, or political affiliation. Please, read the article. Knowledge leads to understanding. We just want to be understood.

Now Reading:
The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama
and Howard C. Cutler

Stories Out to Publishers:
9

Books Read This Year:
2

Zines/Graphic Novels/Fiction Mags Read This Year:
1