So many surprises have happened in the past 12 months, and so many plans that hatched in unexpected ways, that my head has spent the last month in a constant spin.

My time and attentions have been split in ways I couldn't imagine, and I've been on quite an emotional roller-coaster since last August.

I don't think I've been this emotionally anxious and unbalanced for about 8 years, and before that probably another 8. If one were to believe in some sort of cyclical numerology, that might mean something other than coincidence.

The first time was the hope of true love. The second time was the fear that I had lost love entirely. This time is really like the first, except a lot with a lot more complications.

I'm trying to hold on to all the positive feelings of that "true love", even if it's just my imagination and hope, and trying to reject all the anxiety and negativity that is my normal mood.

I have several "true loves" now, and it's as scary as when I first thought I did.