Sometimes I want to shake someone and scream, "Stop hiding things from me! I wont ever judge you, or think negatively of you! You've got to believe me! Just let me in!"

Then, on the other hand, I think about all the things I hide myself from others.

It's a hard thing to let down your barriers. I'm working really hard at it; and I don't know how successful I've been. I think now that I'm actually trying, I'm more sensative to others keeping theirs up.

And I'm frustrated, but understanding. Which is nice and contradictory.

I especially understand as I've got whole layers of defenses, diversions and deceptions, that only a few people I've ever allowed through. Whole levels of "me" that only certain people get to see at any time.

I'm trying to rid myself of a lot of that, and it's difficult. But I want it so badly for myself, I want it in others too. Strange.