I alternate between desperately wanting social contact of any kind, and wanting to live out my days as a hermit, never speaking to a single person ever again, sometimes, within the same minute of thought.

I think it comes from a constant level of unsatisfaction in my life, mostly self-inflicted.

Most of my life is actually spent working to achive a level of satisfaction, or serenity with my situation and surroundings, and I'm happy for those few, fleeting moments when I achieve that.

While I'm no great empath, and have little understanding of the people around me, on occasion I can see other glimpses in others of that same restlessness.

It's like an urge to keep moving, to do something, to be on the lookout for that other thing that might allow you to feel content.

Of course that thing is almost entirely illusionary.

On the other hand, there's enough reality there, that I can't fault anyone who is looking for the bits and pieces that are real. After all, everything good in life has come from someone saying, "It'd be better if I would do...." Without some dissatisfaction with the status quo, nothing would ever evolve or progress.

But when you no longer can find any enjoyment of the present, because you're constantly looking towards that receeding horizon, it's no longer good for you. Been there.

To you constant searchers, I'd say, it's OK to want something else, something you think may be better. Heck, it's OK to not know what you want. Just don't let the search consume you. Try to find whatever enjoyment you can in the present as well, even if you have to look really hard.

I figure if I repeat it enough to other people, I'll start to believe it myself.