No sooner do I realize that maybe I've been too abrasive in the past; no sooner do I realize that I should do my best to be more reserved and concerned about how others may feel about my spontaneous rants; no sooner do I feel genuinely bad about hurting someone else's feelings or embarassing them with my words than some stupid asshole walks up to me and says, "PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE HIT ME OVER THE HEAD!"

So I'm sitting in the lunchroom, see, and minding my own business mind you, then I overhear this from the end of the table: "Marraige is between a Man and a Woman and that's all there is to it. All the rest of this is just garbage that destroys the institution of marraige . . ."

Grrr. But still, armed with my newly found compassion, I keep quiet. Everyone has the right to their opinion, right?

"Look it up," this lady continued. "The definition of marraige is ONE man; ONE woman."

Twitch. Twitch-twitch.

Silence around the table. We're at work, after all. No one wants to get into this at work. It's not the place and it certainly isn't the time.

"This is just more liberal nonsense aimed at removing God from our country!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, X," I said. "I had no idea it was that bad."

"It is! Liberals are trying to--"

"No. Not that."

Her eyes glassed over. An unchewed piece of Hostess fruit pie lounged on her tongue. "What are you talking about then?" She asked.

"Your marraige. I had no idea it was in such poor shape. I mean, if allowing two people who love one another and are willing to commit themselves to each other in marraige to do so is enough to destroy the sanctity of your marraige, then it must not be in too great of shape. How sad for you."

I should be dead from her glare. On the other hand, she did get up and leave the table and I didn't have to listen to it any more.

You know, maybe I'm just a jerk after all.

But I can live with that.


Joseph Haines, signing off from The Edge of the Abyss.