You know, reading the transcript of Bill Clinton's speech last night at the Democratic National Convention really made me think.

No, no, no. Not about the obviousness of how nice it used to be to have a President who was intelligent and well-spoken and educated and elected, but about something else entirely.

It just reminded me of how wonderful it was to have a President who was well blown.

I mean, c'mon! George always looks uptight and ready to smack some evil do-er across the head with his Presidential coffee coaster. You know he goes through a million of those little ceramic fuckers. I mean, he probably whizzes 'em across the room at Condoliza Rice when she pisses him off. Probably not Colin Powell, though. Powell'd kick his ass.

But you know, you never saw President Clinton in anything but a, well, kinda' free swinging gait. He always looked relaxed and comfortable and you know, he could get tough with the best of them, but you never felt like he was doing it because he had to think of SOMETHING to do with his missile . . .er, missiles. Bill always knew exactly what to do with it.

Or a good cigar, for that matter.

But you never saw him bomb the hell outta some country just because he needed to release a little steam, or anything else, for that matter.

Clinton had the right idea, I tell ya'.

Maybe there should be a new cabinet position . . .


Hmmm. Or Hmmm'er.

Joseph Haines, signing off from The Edge of the Abyss.