WHAT A CRAZY WEEKEND!!!

(BEER FLAVORED NIPPLES SYNDROME: A time in a womens life when she has men crushing on her for no apparent reason. The only explaination that science can offer is that these men have heard or assume that the woman has beer flavored nipples and are all working to get a taste.)

Lets start at FRIDAY THE 13TH! (wo ooo ooo ooo) (creepy music effects) I got to stop and see Jenna and Friend for a few minutes and that was fun. We decided that we have to put Nick through the "Arlene test" Which is a rigorous and deadly test that we put all the guys that I ever bring around through. Basically, every guy that has ever met Arlene (my sweet innocent Friend) the first things he says to her is sometime about genitals, male or female. Always. These guys do not know about this test. It just happens, it is never a prevoked conversation. Its crazy. We want to see if the tradition will continue. Anyways, Me and Nick went to the drive in and proceeded to get into a fight about my ex and why I won't sleep with Nick.

Which by the way only proves to me that you other guys who told me what Nick was trying to do were right.

So after we get into it and I explain my reasons and bitch a little we calm down and talk and then he tells me he loves me. Yeah, theres a shocker for ya at 4:30 in the damn morning. I was blown away. I didn't know what to say. Usually I just tell these guys who feel that I have beer flavored nipples "no you don't, shut the hell up" and leave it at that. But this time? Noooo. I had to ask more questions. Which brought me to hear that he not only loves me but is in love with me. Or so he claims. Whatever. No I did not tell him that I love him back, I am not in love with him. I'm not sure to be wary of his quickness to say such serious words, complimented, or afraid that hes a pyscho. Yeah.

It must be the beer flavored nipples.

And my boss has a crush on me. He's about 10 years older than me, so thats a little awkward. I'm not sure what to think about that. However, it does kinda make me want to sleep with him just cause he's my boss and so my dad won't be the only one in the family sleeping with the boss (my dad's fiance is his boss).

It must be the beer flavored nipples.

So Saturday. I'm at Oasis (I'm a tanning salon groupie, I'm a loser, yes I know.) hangin out with Meghan and Travis (who also came to visit Meg). And some how we decided that meg would get her clit hood pierced and I would get my nipples done. Which is amusing on several levels. One, when we are bored with money we pierce ourselves. Two, I have my clit hood done and Meg has a nipple pierced. So we flipflopped our piercings. (Flipflop really isn't a word that should be used in this setting, but whatever.) But before we paid for pain we dyed my hair. I really like it, a red brown color. So long story short, Lins and Travis met me and Meg at the tatoo/piercing place. (The girl who usually does our piercings -who we also went to high school with, which is a little wierd since one day I walked in and said "Pierce my pussy!" and it was a girl I was in yearbook with and used to date her brothers best friend. In fact I made out on her bed once- was in labor at the hosptial having a baby boy (God bless, and best wished to her and her baby!) So we had someone else pierce us... Which turns out to be a girl who used to party with my uncle when they were in high school. (High school reunion... "So Tom, I met your niece a few months back." "Oh really? She's a sweet girl." "Yeah I rubbed her nipples down and then shoved a needle threw them. Crazy small world huh?") Lins and Meg were there for the whole process (I got pierced first) and Travis walked in for my second nipple. Which was funny cause he looked like he was gonna pass out. BTW girls, clit piercings are a thousand times easier to get done! Nipples: IT FUCKING HURTS! I heard the pop! when she went through the second side of the first nipple she pierced! EEEWWWW! FREAK OUT! But I did it and I made it and now they are itchy. But I think it may be from tanning. OH OH OH! BTW girls (again!) Nipple rings make your breasts look bigger! I know I've seen my breasts before. (Hey Meg, what's the plural of breasts?) However, if you don't have a good pain tolarance just by a padded bra. That works too. And doesn't cost $70.

And then it was Meghan's turn. She dropped her pants and jumped on the chair (well not quite like that) but it was funny cause Travis kept saying he was uncomfortable. REALLY? Cause she was the one with her pussy out waiting for the needle to stick a medal rod through it. Amusing. I am glad that I never saw one get pierced before I got mine. The process looks much scarier than it feels. Truly. But Meg took it like a champ and I am very proud of her. Which also amuses me cause when I got mine everyone said that they were proud of me and I thought that it was funny, now I am saying it.

So after that we went to Eat N Park, where else would we go? (OH OH OH and Travis paid for all of our bills. Isn't that sweet? AAAWWWW! Meg keep him! He gets me food!) OH he also had a pocket rocket (a mini toy bike for little kids to ride around) and rode it around the parking lot at ENP. FUNNY! And me and Meg took super vics, cause we definately needed them! Which hit us both before we got our food and we were warm and not in pain. Gina came and met us and then she took me to met Nick who came and joined us. He was drunk and somewhere between funny and annoying. I do not think that Travis was impressed with him. Later me and Nick went and sat and talked and got into it yet again about me not fucking him. Yes, I talk about sex a lot. No, I'm not a virgin. But that does not mean I am gonna fuck YOU. I was pissed. My body is mine to with what I want whenever I want. And anyone who doesn't respect that can go to hell. I don't give a fuck. He always says I should say I don't care and I don't give a fuck more about things. Well he heard it last night. And today. He knew I was pissed and tried to make it up to me by sending me pics of Christina Aguleria on my phone (I love her). Sorry, but I will not always be won over with pics of beautiful naked women. It doesn't always work.

JoAnn bitched this morning about me coming in late at night. I knew it was coming. I feel bad cause I hate waking her up, but she has no room to bitch at me. My mom and dad never told me what to do, she better not think that she can.

This afternoon I went to Oasis (again) and sat with Meg awhile and then her, me, and Gina had a picnic from McDonalds outside. It was fun. And now after I have written this ridicously long entry, I am gonna go clean my room and start packing to move into my apt (in less than two weeks! WOHOO!)

So I don't know what to think about Nick. I think that it is bullshit that he tries to tell me that he loves me, then gets pissed when I won't fuck him, then claims he was never mad. BULLSHIT! WHATEVER. However, after I left he sent me a text msg asking if I didn't find him attractive or something. So I kinda felt bad cause thats not it at all. But not too bad, I was too pissed.

Maybe its the beer flavored (PIERCED!) nipples.

Meg thinks that he's only worried that its him. I half agree and half think hes a creepy jagoff who's just trying to get his dick wet. But who knows. So if anyone would like to offer some advice on this, please share with me.

-kln-


"My pussy needs jewlery. It wants to be pretty and girly. As if being a pussy wasn't girly enough"
"You can't take a picture over there the light is too bright. Here take a picture of me, I'm not bright."