I was looking back, reading my journal entries. And I realized something (Other than there are lots of typos and misspellings that drive the editor in me absolutely crazy). I don't clearly remember writing those words. I mean I know that they are mine, but I remember it as one remembers a dream, hazy and distant. I know the words are mine. I don't always know why I chose the words that I do. I just know that it seems... right. It is so strange, almost like I am outside myself, away from myself when I write. I start writing and my words and I, we are gone. I feel like I am someone else. Maybe that is why I love writing so much. I just drift into colors and people and things that are my imagination. It's like in an animated tv show when the characters get high and there is a montage with spinning colors and swaying music and things and people and oh if only I could take you into my mind. If you could see, what would you think of me? I went out to the blue shining sea, and I had a feeling that became to overtake me. I thought I heard you call my name, but when I turned, there was nobody there. Words they are so fitting and so right for me. Like they have always been a part of me just waiting for me to put them onto paper. Again, I don't know why I describe it that way, only that it seems... right. It's like an addiction too. The more I write, the more I want to write. And when I don't write for a couple days, all I can think about is writing. Maybe it is because I don't always say what I am feeling or thinking so I want to get it out another way. Or maybe I don't speak well because I prefer to write. Either way, the whole point of my ramblings is simply that as much as my writing is a part of me, it seems so distant from me when I reread what I have said. Like I am watching the sun rise after making it set. Where dawn and day are always separate, but always together. Caught somewhere in the misty morning shining haze, feeling the cool dew on my face and the first rays warming my skin. And there, my words and I, we are gone.

-kln-

Jump in my purple haze and just hang out for a couple days. Cause when you get back, your train will be off its track. When you ain't got no attention to pay, you'll know why I act this way.