She stepped off the bus out into the city streets
Just a small town girl with her whole life
Packed in a suitcase by her feet
But somehow the lights didn't
Shine as bright as they did
On her mama's tv screen
But you know you got to stick to your guns
When it all comes down
Cause sometimes you can't choose
It's like heads they win
Tails you're gonna lose
Win big--mama's fallen angel
Lose big--livin' out her lies
Wants it all--mama's fallen angel
Lose it all, rollin' the dice of her life
Just a step away from the edge of a fall
Caught between heaven and hell
Where's the girl I knew a year ago
Too much too soon
Or just a little too late
Win big--mama's fallen angel
Lose big--livin' out her lies
Wants it all--mama's fallen angel
Lose it all, rollin' the dice of my life


And what would mama say if she saw me now? Walking in stillettos? String of beads around my neck, standing on my own. What would she say when she saw tears in my eyes? Or the smile on my face?

Would she sit beside me and play with my hair and listen like she usually did? Would she smile back? Would she be proud of me? Of what I've become? Would she tell me I'm the best damn woman that she has ever seen?

She would sit and listen to my new favorite songs, look at my new clothes, listen to my stories, nod her head. Just listening. Letting me talk and talk and talk and talk. Would she think I am trying hard enough? Am I?



Am I? Sometimes I don't know. It is hard to separate my nightmares from reality from my daydreams. They blur together at the seams. Tearing apart and coming back together somewhere else. I can't remember where I begin.

-kln-