If you knew me before sophomore year of college, you would have seen somebody completely immersed in Spanish. I had done a homestay in Spain, done a study trip to Nicaragua, and was taking high level courses in Spanish.

But then something happened. I got a crush on a Tai jutsu teacher and ended up married to Japan.

I wear this necklace now, at first glance it looks like a swastika, but it is actually a lauburu.

("The Lauburu (or 4 headed cross), is the oldest Basque coat of arms, that distinctly raised victorious banners for the "vardulo", "caristio" and "austrigon" tribes during the early part of the Basque history (200 years BC.).

My host mother bought it for me when we went to visit an ancient castle near Pamplona. All her daughters wore them at the time. I wear it, more than 10 years later, to remind myself of possible Kirstens that could have happened. To remind myself that this life I chose is not the only choice and that I can change myself at anytime.

For the same reason, to remind myself of what is possible, I got a tattoo when I graduated from college. I knew my proclivities were for mainstream, middle class life. And at the time, they weren't as trendy as they are now. I wanted some secret reminder that I had the potential to buck the system within me (even if I do no bucking now).

And for the same reason I do things that I consider "outside" the usual Kirsten perview. Like going to Siberia or learning to scuba dive.

Yesterday I did something outside my current life. It wasn't a big thing, and it really will have no consequence other than making me remember possibilities again and that I choose who I am every moment of the day by my actions.

I asked my car pool buddy for the writing group I am joining in Eugene to meet me at a hotel along highway 5. There was a hotel bar. When I got there early, I decided to sit down and have a cosmopolitan in a hotel bar.

Can you imagine it? Mother of two in a bar. It was fun, but weird.

And it made me remember my own possibilities.