I think I'll skip all the cliches about how you never understand what all-devouring love is until you hold your child in your arms, or how mothers run the world.

I woke up sunday morning and realized I live in a world of mothers. Pretty much 90% of my daily contact is mothers.

My own mother, with whom I never thought I would be this close without major damage.

With mothers of my children's friends.

With mothers at the recreation center.

Even mothers at my favorite cafes.

And even while a major part of my self-identity is defined by being a mother these days, sometimes I look at girl1 or girl2, still even after almost 6 years, and think to myself "I'm a mother?"

I was just talking to a friend from my graduate degree program. At that time in my life ,living with Naoto in Monterey, I assumed that I would be a full time working parent, and that I would work in my chosen career of ESL my whole life.

She said that she assumed by this age she would be a stay at home mom.

Neither of us were right.

What I've learned from this, I think, is that basic patterns and desires are more deeply ingrained in us than a crunchy-granola hanging out in hippy Coventry, private quaker college graduate would like to admit.

I derive immense satisfaction from keeping a clean house, participating in the education of my girls, manuevering finances, and cooking meals that manage to use up the last bits of carrots and leftover chicken in the fridge.

And according to the newspaper, if I were paid for this duty, I would make more than twice what Naoto does.

But on the other hand, I am teaching two students privately and doing rater stuff for the TOEFL, and writing and participating in writing communities both live and online.

These things are as much a part of me as the mother stuff.

So rather than "happy mother's day", maybe Naoto should wish me "happy kirsten-who-is-also-a-mother" day.

Or not. I'd just be happy with chocolate.