There's a series (7 in all) of interviews of "foreign" women married to Japanese (living in UK, US, and Japan) men at this author's website (she is also married to a Japanese man.)

For me, the resonating aspects of some of the interviews were a) that although the tendency to blame our nationalities for disagreements is there, most often it isn't a disagreement based on being "japanese" or "american", but is based on our own personalities. It isn't helpful sometimes to blame nationality as it obscures the real root of the problem.

Other times it might be helpful :)

b) The tendency for some Japanese men who when living in a foriegn country are "open and carefree" to revert back to being conformist and rigid when living in Japan. And the unspoken reverse tendency, I suppose, that American women might "revert" back to a more independent and carefree living style rather than to make rice and miso soup and conform as they did in Japan when moving back to their own country.

Very interesting for me to read.