Sorry, everyone. This isn't about some wonderful musical experience I've had, and it's not a very funny post. It's about the worst software company I've ever dealt with. This post is here so when prospective customers type Reaktor, Absynth, B4, Kontakt, FM7, Vokator, Spektral Delay, Traktor, Pro-53, or Battery into google, they'll get this warning.

If you're not an electronic musician, this probably won't interest you. If you are, read on.

Native Instruments' business model seems to be "Charge money for software that doesn't work, promise to fix it with a whole string of updates, charge money for the updates, and they don't work, either."

It's been seven months since I spent $1000 on NI KOMPLETE, their "everything we make" bundle that contains all the titles I listed above. I have finally reached the point where I can't stand it anymore. I've been complaining in their own web forums, but my voice is just one among many screaming, wailing souls, and all of us go unanswered. (There is a moderator of sorts in one of the fora, but he seems to enjoy preaching about intellectual property rights more than he enjoys making anyone feel heard--and even worse, he's not even a representative of Native Instruments.)

I'm much calmer now that I never expect any Native Instruments product to work.

From the beginning:

• The registration process is cumbersome and counterintuitive, and the error messages are misleading. They don't help you correct your errors. If you're looking for a reason to throw your computer against a wall, this is just the thing for you.


• The first run of Spektral Delay brings up an error box that just says "the file def could not be found." What's a file def? Good question. No clue. Luckily, by the time I encountered this, I'd learned that the answer to most of these questions is "look in the online fora for other wailing screamers who have the same problem." Usually, this results in the answer "this isn't solvable," but this time, someone knew what to do: Move the def.aif file out of the folder where the installer put it, and into the folder where the installer was supposed to put it.


• Each user has two usernames, one for product registration and one for the fora. (See above re: infuriatingly unhelpful error messages).


• Titles that are advertised as working as VST plugins don't. In seven months, Reaktor, Vokator, and Spektral Delay have never worked.


• Titles that are advertised as working as Audio Unit plugins also don't. In a way, Reaktor is the most stable software I own: It didn't work as a VST in Digital Performer 3.x under OS-9, and it still doesn't work as an AU in Digital Performer 4.x under OS-X. So it never crashes my other software!


• Native Instruments does nothing to show they care--in the least--that these fatal issues exist. All they do is announce updates "real soon now" that will fix the problems. The updates come out, and still, nothing works right.


• Kontakt randomly stops responding to MIDI CC#7 (volume). I've had to stop using MIDI volume changes; I'm forced to draw envelopes on the instrument's audio track. Under OS-9, Kontakt also has the most irritating screen-redraw "white box" flickers I've ever seen. During playback, they totally obliterate the user interface.


• Absynth--like other of the Native Instruments products--has a bad habit of losing its authorization, requiring re-registration. I now carry a dozen installation CDs in my backpack at all times, because it's the only way to reasonably expect a productive music day on my laptop. This doesn't sound like such a terrible thing, but besides the ongoing hassle and irritation, that backpack is already very heavy. I didn't need more weight in there.


• Did I mention that NI doesn't give a shit?


• Reaktor sometimes refuses to even launch until you trash EVERY ONE of its files and reinstall. Then you're back to the 30-day demo version until you re-register it.


• Answers to some questions may actually exist, but are scattered all over the website. I may find myself going back and forth between two or three pages to figure out how to do something that should be really simple--like how to get a grace period update.


• Native Instruments does not know how to program for Macintosh. There are plenty of other places on the web where you can hear the screaming for yourself.


• When they announce that things will work in Digital Performer, don't believe it. I don't think they actually have a copy that they test their stuff on. Seriously. I really don't.
  

Those are just the ones I could remember off the top of my head when I sat down to write this. Trust me, there were more. Many more.

Many, many more.

Today I posted the following in the Native Instruments B4 and Absynth forums.

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Post 1



OK, I was a patient guy. I waited 2 weeks for my grace period updates of B4 and Absynth to be processed. I did my best to provide "proof of purchase" in email, even though I really have no idea what that means. But I figured "All right, I know NI's customer service is, let's say, overtaxed, so I'll just get my request in and wait like a grownup."

2 weeks later, I get email from a nice guy named Joern, apologizing for the delay, but explaining that proof of purchase really has to accompany these requests. I sent him a polite note saying that I'd love to have given him what he needed, but it's really unclear what that might be.

Shortly thereafter, I received two emails from register@native-instruments.de, telling me I now have access to all protected B4 and Absynth files. So I figure my patience has paid off, and now I can get back to work.

Not hardly.

These "protected files" do not include the B4 1.1.1-to-1.1.2 update, which I need in order to update from 1.1.1 to 1.1.3. I bought B4 within the grace period. The B4 update info page says, "Users who purchased B4 after May 15, 2003 are entitled to a Grace Period update." I did. It does not say anything about versions.

It's not as though I'm trying to cheat the system or something. I went to the page to find out about updates, I did what it asked, I waited a ridiculous amount of time, and I can't use the result.

HOW, HOW, HOW, HOW, HOW do I get this working? Someone, please tell me!

Thanks very much! I have a similar (though not identical) problem with the Absynth grace period update, which I'll post in the Absynth forum.



Post 2



I posted about my B4 grace period update problems in the B4 forum. I also have Absynth grace period problems. I'm hoping someone knows what to do...

After waiting two weeks, I received two emails from register@native-instruments.de, telling me I now have access to all protected Absynth files.

However, it doesn't work. There's no 1.x to 2.x updater on the Absynth UPDATES page.

The grace period info says, "After we’ve processed the order you will receive an email including a personal link to the update download."

I received no personal link to any update page.

OK, fine. So I go directly to the NI Online Store and look for it there. Indeed, there is a way for me to order the grace period update CD for $20, but the listing for the free download takes me to...

...a popup of instructions about how to email NI my grace period info so they can send me a special link!

I already DID THAT! They sent me email that DIDN'T HAVE A SPECIAL LINK!!

I'm really trying to stay adult here, but my experience with NI is just one bit of black comedy after another. Can someone PLEASE tell me how to download an Absynth 1.x-2.x grace period updater? I'd be very grateful.

Thanks very much...



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So in closing, don't buy Native Instruments products unless:

1. You are using an extremely fast Windows machine with twelve zagabytes of RAM;


2. You are masochistic;


3. You are uninterested in getting any work done;


4. You are Dr. Zandrus, my arch-nemesis. Revenge is mine.

Addendum: In preparation for my own Better Business Bureau complaint, I found this entry about Native Instruments at the BBB website.

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