Keith Snyder
Door always open.

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A few hours in New York

                                                               FADE IN:

EXT. WASHINGTON HEIGHTS APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

There's movement through the dirty windows of the front door.

                             THREE-YEAR-OLD (V.O.)
                   Macky's turn! It's Macky's turn!

                             MAN  (V.O.)
                   No, I think it's Butchie's turn.

                             ANOTHER THREE-YEAR-OLD  (V.O.)
                   Push da button!

                             MAN  (V.O.)
                   Can you do it?

SFX: Security buzzer.

                             MAN  (V.O.)
                   Good job!

                             THREE-YEAR-OLD  (V.O.)
                   You did it, Butchie! You did it!

In one obviously much-practiced gesture, DADDY (40ish, tired,
unshaven) swings the door open, levers a double stroller down
the front steps, and says:

                             DADDY
                   What's that!

The three-year-olds are MAC (elfin, blond, coming down with
yet another cold) and BUTCH (a future linebacker, slightly
less blond than his brother).

                             MAC AND BUTCH
                   Da Geodge Washygton Bwidge!

                             DADDY
                   Very good! Who wants to be cozy?

                             MAC
                   Cozy!

                             DADDY
                   Okay!
                       (tucks a ducky blanket
                        around them)
                   Let's go!

EXT. 175TH ST. "A" TRAIN STATION - DAY

They approach a street-level elevator.

                             BUTCH
                   Less go da steegy egabato!

                             DADDY
                   You want the stinky elevator?

                             BUTCH
                   Steegy egabato!

                             DADDY
                   Okay! Let's go on the stinky
                   elevator!

                             MAC
                   No preschool! No preschool!

                             DADDY
                   Today is Saturday. There's no
                   preschool on Saturday.

                             MAC
                       (satisfied)
                   No preschool da Satuday.

INT DOWNTOWN "A" TRAIN

The stroller faces DADDY, who's sitting near the door. MAC
and BUTCH are holding sippy cups.

                             DADDY
                   What train is this?

                             BUTCH
                   Da "A" Twain.

                             DADDY
                   That's right, it's the "A" Train. 
                   Who wants to sing the "A" Train
                   song?

                             MAC
                   "A" Train Song!

                             BUTCH
                   "A" Twain Song!

                             DADDY
                   Okay. You ready?

                             MAC
                   Ready!

                             BUTCH
                   Weddy!

                             DADDY
                       (singing)
                   You...can take the--

                             MAC AND BUTCH
                       (gleeful)
                   B TRAIN!

                             DADDY
                       (much tickling)
                   No, not the B Train! It's the A
                   Train! It's the A Train!
                       (singing)
                   All...the way to Sugar Hill in
                   Harlem. If...you miss the--

                             MAC AND BUTCH
                       (gleeful)
                   B TRAIN!

                             DADDY
                       (more tickling)
                   No, it's not the B Train! It's not
                   the B Train! It's the A Train!
                       (singing)
                   You... have missed the quickest way
                   to--?

                             BUTCH
                       (unintelligible)

                             MAC
                   Haddam.

                             DADDY
                   Very good. Drink your orange juice.

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY

A few dozen people are clumped near 59th Street. A few have
professional-quality video cameras on their shoulders. Either
it's a political rally or the local birders have found
another Scott's Oriole.

                             DADDY
                   Let's go see!

 They go see. It's a Women for Obama rally.

                             DADDY
                   Let's go look at horses!

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY

                             DADDY
                   That's a brown horse pulling a
                   white carriage with white wheels.
                   That's a brown horse pulling a
                   black carriage with black wheels.
                   That's a white horse pulling a
                   white carriage with red wheels.
                   That's a brown horse pulling a
                   white carriage.

                             MAC
                   Da white wheels.

                             DADDY
                   That's right, very good. The wheels
                   are white. Do you see another
                   carriage? Do you see the inside?
                   The color inside is red.

                             MAC
                   No, it's a white carriage.

                             DADDY
                   Yes, it's a white carriage, but the
                   inside is red. Do you see the red?

                             MAC
                   No, it's a white carriage.

                             DADDY
                   Yes, the outside is white. The
                   inside is red.

                             MAC
                   No, it's a white carriage.

                             DADDY
                   Butchie, do you see the carriage?
                   What color do you see? Butchie,
                   what color do you see? Butchie? Do
                   you see a carriage? What color is
                   it? Butchie? Do you see a carriage?
                   What color is it? What color do you
                   see?

                             BUTCH
                   Horsey!

EXT. CENTRAL PARK PLAYGROUND - DAY

Unlike last time, when DADDY thought 20° was a good
temperature for playing outside, there are one or two other
families here. The main attraction is the 40'-long stone
slide.

 SERIES OF SHOTS:

- MAC and BUTCH hiking up the mud path and sliding down

- BUTCH making a left instead of a right and leaving the
  slide area, running full tilt.

                             MAC
                   Wait! Wait! We got to get the big
                   slide! Wait, Butchie, wait!
                   Butchie, come back here!

- BUTCH running full-tilt in no particular direction.

- MAC falling on his face as he climbs around on the log
  edging.

DADDY helps him up. Mac's lip is a little abraded, and it
mixes with what's coming out of his nose.

                             MAC
                       (crying)
                   I hurt my face! Daddy I hurt my
                   face!

                             DADDY
                   Yes, you hurt your face. You fell
                   down.

                             MAC
                   Yes.

                             BUTCH
                       (grabbing Daddy's hand)
                   Come on, Daddy! Wet's go!

                             DADDY
                   Butchie, I'm helping Mac right now.

                             BUTCH
                       (pulling)
                   Come on, Daddy! Wet's go!

                             DADDY
                   Hold on, Butchie. Macky, do you
                   want to play some more?

                             MAC
                   No, I want to eat Cheerios.

- MAC sitting on steps, eating Cheerios

                             MAC
                       (eating Cheerios from a
                        Ziploc bag)
                   Num. Num num num. Num num num num
                   num. Num num! Num! Num num! Num
                   NUM! Num NUM NUM NUM! NUM NUM NUM!
                   NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM!

- BUTCH running full-tilt in no particular direction.

- MAC and BUTCH jumping up and down on the little chain
suspension bridges.

- MAC walking all the way around the lip of a raised seating
area. Two million times.

- BUTCH running full-tilt in no particular direction



EXT. 6TH AVENUE IN THE 40S - DAY

DADDY pushes MAC and BUTCH in the stroller. They're walking
all the way down to 34th Street because Daddy doesn't want to
deal with the stairs at 59th.

                             DADDY
                   Who's that? Do you see that? Who is
                   it?

Half a block ahead is ELMO.

Or anyway, someone dressed as Elmo, which--Elmo not actually
being a real person in the first place, is as real as Elmo
gets.

                             MAC AND BUTCH 
                       (beam delightedly but say
                        nothing)

                             ELMO
                       (makes some weird high
                        pitched sounds)

                             DADDY
                   Bye-bye, Elmo!

AT 42ND STREET

Both boys are asleep. Planning on buying Mommy a little more
time, Daddy bumps the stroller up the steps to the WichCraft
 kiosk, orders cappuccino and a brownie, and waits.

                             PRETTY ASIAN REPORTER
                   Hello, we are doing a story for
                   Shanghai television on the coffee
                   culture here in New York. Do you
                   think we could talk to you?

                             DADDY
                   Sure.

                             PRETTY ASIAN REPORTER
                   Yes? Good, thank you.

The news crew positions Daddy.

                             CAMERAMAN
                   Tilt the cap up, if you would.

Daddy tilts his cap up. The interview starts.

                             PRETTY ASIAN REPORTER
                   Pleae tell us, do you drink a lot
                   of coffee?

                             DADDY
                   Actually, no. I drink mostly tea.

                             PRETTY ASIAN REPORTER
                       (eyes widening in
                        surprise)
                   You drink a lot of tea? Why?

                             DADDY
                   Well, I'm the father of three-year
                   old twins, and I need as much
                   caffeine as I can get.

                             PRETTY ASIAN REPORTER
                   And tea has more caffeine than
                   coffee?

                             DADDY
                   The way I make it? Yeah.

                             PRETTY ASIAN REPORTER
                   So you don't like coffee?

                             DADDY
                   Well, I'm a writer, so I like
                   coffeehouses, because I can sit in
                   them and write, but coffee... it's
                   fine.

                             PRETTY ASIAN REPORTER
                   Do you have a favorite flavor of
                   coffee?

                             DADDY
                   Do they make tea-flavored coffee?

INT UPTOWN "B" TRAIN

                             CONDUCTOR
                       (over PA system)
                   59th Street, Columbus Circle.

It's a packed train. A THUGGY FAMILY (father, mother, baby 
in stroller) rise as the train slows. DADDY and the double
stroller of sleeping boys are between that family and the 
subway door.

                             THUGGY FATHER
                   Strolla heah!

                             DADDY
                   You getting off?

                             THUGGY FATHER
                   Yeah.

INT 59TH STREET STATION

When the train doors open, Daddy backs the double stroller
between masses of people onto the platform. The Thuggy 
family exits.

The doors close, leaving Daddy, Mac, and Butch still on the
platform. Daddy just shakes his head.

                             THUGGY FATHER
                   He close the door on you?

                             DADDY
                   Yeah.

                             THUGGY FATHER
                       (top of his lungs at the
                        conductor)
                   HEY, STROLLA HEAH!

The doors open.
                             DADDY
                       (wheeling in)
                   Thanks.

                             THUGGY FATHER
                   Yeah.
                       (top of his lungs at the
                        conductor)
                   FUCKIN' RETARD!

INT 145TH ST. STATION

DADDY disembarks with the stroller. MAC and BUTCH are still
sleeping. There's no elevator here. He looks up the stairs.

DADDY'S POV

Four flights of stairs, going waaaay up.

He blows air out his cheeks and sets to hauling 150 pounds up
the stairs. Halfway to the first landing, he glances down at
the platform, where a model-beautiful woman, obviously made
up to impress someone, is looking uncertainly up at him.

                             WOMAN
                   Would you like help with that?

                             DADDY
                   No, that's all right, thanks. I do
                   this all the time.

                             WOMAN
                   Are you sure?

                             DADDY
                   Yes, really, thanks.

                             WOMAN
                       (hesitates, then goes up)
                   Let me help you with that.

         She lifts the bottom of the stroller.

                             DADDY
                   Are you sure about that?

From her face... no she's not. But at the landing, three
YOUNG MEN take over. At the top of the second flight, they
pause on a different platform.

                             DADDY
                   Thanks very much.

                             YOUNG MAN
                   You going all the way up?

                             DADDY
                       (looking around)
                   We're going to the "A" Train.

                             YOUNG MAN
                       (relieved)
                   That's right here.

INT APARTMENT - DAY

MAC and BUTCH sleep in their stroller.

                                                   FADE TO BLACK.

The end credits roll.
                                                         FADE IN:

INT APARTMENT - NIGHT

Nine square feet of wooden floor are covered in black
permanent marker scribbles.

                             MAC
                   Daddy, I draw da floor!

                                                   FADE TO BLACK.


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