I read Jenn's journal today and she talked about the depth of her journal, something I've been feeling. She mentioned that since she's hasn't been updating her journal on the say day things happen to her, a lot of the emotion is gone. It's a good point, and may be the reason my journal is so sterile.

So, I give you my defeat. Tonight was the second Hwa Rang Do class I attended in effectively a year. One of the things that I've taken from my small time in Hwa Rang Do is confidence. However, tonight, that was all taken away. I couldn't defend myself enough to block even one punch. Instead, I cringed away from each strike like a frightened child, and let my opponent beat the living hell out of me. I was barely able to lift my legs off the ground by the end of the match and spent the rest of class trying to catch my breath enough not to vomit.

Maybe I'm not cut out for martial arts, but I can't make that decision right now. I just have to try to learn from all of the mistakes I made tonight... it should be easy, there were enough of them.