I don't want the end of the year to go by without mentioning my brother Stuart and his death and talking a little bit about him. I never mentioned this at the time in my journal, because I was worried about my family and didn't want to add any stress to them at the time. I think we are all far enough along our grieving that I can safely talk about it without upseting them.

The thing that I never mentioned was that his death wasn't an accident. He commited suicide. *sigh* This complicated all of the emotions surrounding it because other deaths involve sadness, but this involved a great deal of anger as well. Anger at Stuart for doing this to his family, to his wife, to his son. I often still get really angry out of nowhere. I've been talking to a therapist about it for a little over a month and I'm going to continue going because I think it helps.

If you haven't read my entry about him (and are interested), please do because despite all of my anger about his stupid, thoughtless, selfish act that ended his life... the rest of his life was filled with excellence.