I haven't posted in awhile (welcome back!) because most everything I've had to say will fit on Twitter or Facebook. This story, however, needs slightly more room.

I'm looking to buy a house in Long Beach and move from West LA. I want to find a place that has owner-financing (because its awesome). I found a listing on Craigslist and called them up. It was a Broker who works for a group of investors. That group of investors buys up bunches of distressed houses, rehabs them and re-sells them with owner-financing so they can earn lots of fun interest.

The Broker gave me the big long spiel about how they can provide all sorts of great opportunities even if you have bad credit or bankruptcies, etc. I have good credit and a demonstrated ability to pay, so *thumbs up* kick ass. They only require 0.5% down! Half a percent!

Him: Do you currently own a home?
Me: Yes.

Him: Oh, these incentive programs with the low down payment are only for first-time home buyers.
Me: Ok, that's fine. How much would they want down for non-first-time buyers?

Him: Well... they would probably need like 20% down so it probably wouldn't work...
Me: Ok, we can probably swing that if necessary, but regardless I'm still interested in checking out some of the properties you have and see if there is something that works for both of us.

What follows is a series of hemming and hawing and weird indecipherable responses. At a certain point, I just asked him straight out:

Me: I'm having trouble reading your signals here, so I'm just going to ask. I've got cash on hand. I've got a demonstrated ability to pay. I've got good credit. I'm interested in owner-financing. Are you interested in doing business with me?

Him: No.

That's it, he just said, "No." Apparently they are willing to give owner-financing to someone with bad credit, bankruptcies and has never purchased a house before.... but MY money is apparently not green enough for them.