Nurse: "Look at you!"

Understudy: "You don't look well."

Doctor (after exam): "Your face is really messed up."


Well, nothing if not blunt.



Apparently what I thought was a swollen lymph node behind my left jawbone is really an infection. It's now spread to almost half of my face and makes turning the head and eating painful.

It's not clear to me whether this infection has come along on top of a cold or whether it's causing these other symptoms. Same with the pinkeye, which is a generic term for a number of situations.

The treatment: two large horsepills of antibiotics twice a day until gone, plus some eye drops every four hours. Drink lots of fluids, get lots of rest. Eat no dairy products.

So much for my bachelor week.