"O Christians, arrogant, exhausted, wretched, whose intellects are sick and cannot see, who place your conficence in backward steps, Why does your mind presume to flight when you are still like the imperfect grub, the worm before it has attained its final form?"

Oh, hungover. After a wild night, many drinks, cigarettes and shitloads of money spent, I spent the whole sunday doing nothing - by nothing I mean NOTHING. I didn't even clean myself in any ways - no showers, no teeth brushed, nothing. Eeeew.

Now, after a very revigorating (and complete) shower, I am clean, renewed and thoughtful. And I came to a conclusion: I'm a pig.

I'm a heavy smoker, drinker, gluttonous, paranoid, fairly antisocial, narcissistic, avoidant, obsessive-compulsive, luxurious, proud (of what?), wrathful, slothful, greedy, lustful, materialist, capitalist and I don't take good care of myself. I ignore my family and friends and I'm mean to my siblings.

I believe that requests a change. A big change. I need to develop better habits. Fix everything I mentioned above and become someone better.

I believe I've taken the first steps. I finally went to the dermatologist to see what's wrong with the skin on my back and my arms, and I am treating it. Now tomorrow I have some pendant quests to solve, such as showing up at the army and transfering myself to the night school. And I have to recoup my lost grades, and raise them. I've never sucked so badly at school. After I've done that, the next big step will be a change in my appearance. I'm tired of how I look. I think I'll go take a new haircut and maybe do a few dark blonde highlights that will look good with my tan. Maybe buy a little diamond earring to put on my left ear. I've always wanted an earring. I look good on it. But my family hates it. I'll start to ignore (more) their thoughts and opinions about my life.

I'll have to be strong to go on...