"And when you're not a little boy anymore, when the world has taught you how to be a man... Then you'll still make mistakes. But your family, and all those good friends you've made along the way, will help you. And even though you'll think the world has gone out of it's way to teach you all the tough lessons, you'll realize that it's the same world that's given you your family and those friends, you'll come to believe that no matter what happens, somehow the world will protect you, too. "Boy Meets World." Now I get it." - Boy Meets World (1993)

I do agree with Cory on that. At least that happens for most people. But in the end, it's all about the concept of "family" you decide to use. Take my family, for example. On the eyes of any regular person, it's unbearable to call my family a real family. First because my mother had her first baby (myself) when she was 16. I met my dad late in 2000. My mom and her husband are huge potheads (literally). I lived with my grandparents my whole childhood. My grandparents. They are my real family, the ones who raised me and educated me. My mother? Well, she is my mother, I love her, but she's very... I don't even know a word to define it. And her husband... he is not my family. I know many stepfathers who actually take part in their wives' children's life, but it's not my case. All he can do is annoy me. Especially lately. And my mother... especially today.

I went to that job interview today. It happened to be in a huge room with dozens of people. We had to answer a survey, then write a text, then do a little math test. I SCREWED the math test. I couldn't do the first two questions. They were about percentage. How can a salesperson NOT know percentage? Well, I wasn't expecting that, and the fact is I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO CALCULATE PERCENTAGE WITHOUT A CALCULATOR. I wonder how dumb does that make me? That interview was a big failure in my opinion. I woke up late, and even though I was able to get there in time, I didn't take the time to take deep breaths, relax and dress up properly before leaving home. PLUS, my left eye was all red and itchy again by this morning. The little confidence I was gaining inside me was completely LOST. I was kinda overwhelmed with all those people doing the same thing, and probably getting a better result. Well, it served as an experience. I will have a response from that job by monday. If they don't call me, well, they didn't like me. That's probably what is going to happen.

I was really down by that fact, and when I got home I just wanted to sleep. But the stupid mommy's husband was sitting in my computer playing GUNBOUND. And he did that for an hour and a half AFTER I got home and had lunch - I had to wait laying down in my bed. When he FINALLY left my bedroom I finally took a 3 hours nap. When I woke up, I sat in front of the computer and checked my mailbox and went on MSN. During that period of time, a lady from a hostel called me, saying she was very interested on the resumee I sent online, and telling me to go to Crab Hostel tomorrow by 4pm for an interview. AWESOME, I would love to work in a hostel. They do not pay very well and the worktime is kinda weird (from 4pm to midnight) but HEY!, it's a start! Come on. Why shouldn't I try that out for a couple of months? But there comes mommy yelling out loud in my bedroom, saying it's not worth my efforts to work for such a long time, in a very far away place (1 hour by bus) that does not pay well. That's got to bring you down. It sucks when your family NEVER supports you. I'd much rather work anywhere than suffer by lack of money.

The fact is, I am going to try my best to get this job, and my family WILL NOT HOLD ME BACK. Jesus Christ, it is very annoying when you TRY to get a job and your own "family" (hence the introduction) holds you back.

They will not stop me.

When I finally give up on being a little boy and my family is supposed to support and help me, they hold me back. But guess what, I told my grandmother (reducing the worktime from 4-12 to 4-10) and she was the one who supported me. Said it was great, that she was really happy with my progresses.

Anyway... besides that - I am taking screenwriting lessons and a political sciences course. My exams start next week and I'll have to study a lot if I want to pass. At least I have a lot of things to distract me. I can't wait to put my new lessons on screenwriting in action.

That's basically it. Tomorrow I'll go to that interview and see what happens. I am trying hard to find a job and this is my main objective. Until I find one, preferrably one I like. And I will not stop until I find one. Nor be stopped.