10 - Sleep... and be lazy

To begin with, you could start sleeping very late at night through the whole morning. If you have business to attend, then attend it (with a terrible mood), and be lazy through it. Take a nap every thirty minutes. Then, when you get home, sleep more and ignore most of things you're supposed to get done. In the end you will acquire a big heart'n'mind ache for not doing what you were supposed to. But that's okay. You can always sleep to forget.

9 - Drink like a sponge

After a difficult and tiring week, having slept most of your time and postponing most of your duties, weekend finally arrives. And with it, of course, it's finally time for some fun. And as we all know, fun begins with alcohol. It can be at home with your (only) friend, or at a bar or club with your (only) friend, or even alone listening to depressive tunes. The most important topic on this subject is "DRINK". Until you are really drunk and unable to think deeply. Works like a mental anesthesic. And also, do not forget to mix. Fermented with distilled, bitter with sweet, cold with warm... doesn't matter. It's the best way to feel good in the next morning (or at least you have the hungover excuse).

8 - Eat a lot and at unusual times

Red meat, white meat, whatever. A sucessful self destructive existence demands a lot of dead animals. Anytime, from morning through night, breakfast through dinner. The key here is to eat as many times a day you can. And have a lot of animal substances on these meals. But in order to have a perfect score on this topic, you cannot forget the non-light soft-drinks - more calories are better. And sweet. Everytime. Every meal requests dessert.

7 - "Just one drag before..."

A true self destructive is a smoker, after all self-destruction inquires you to smoke cigarettes. These are your best friends through the hours. After waking up, after lunch, before bed, after sex, or simply walking around. Cigarettes will not leave you alone, they will always be with you. And before (and after) anything you have to do, important or not, you should have a little drag. Before or after, cigarettes come first (AND after).

6 - Recruit pills to fight on your front line

Self destructive people need to be constantly "out of this world". This requests drugs, but more specifically, pills. Many kinds of pills. Anti alergics, medication for motion sickness, anti depressives... all pills that can make you work outside normality (after all, normality sucks, routine sucks), that will make you hide behind their masks. When you take'em, it's no longer you in control. It's them. And they're fucking good at doing what they do.

5 - Read a lot

Self destructives are usually the most intelligent people available in society. They're usually highly intelligent, but some times their financial situation is bad. The ones with money will put their intelligence to good use and have an academic life full of success and respect. However, rich or poor, self destructives rad a lot, and they've been reading since they were preteens. By acquiring the (bad) habit of having pleasure in reading, self destructives ravenously devour books, magazines and newspapers. They learn too fast and too deeply about their condition as a human being, and in the end they have more questions marks in the head than answers. Usually, they also get very involved with the news, and find thousands of failures in society etc. They are engaged in fighting for overall wellfare, but only in their mind. They do not take actions, and keep all the information in their minds, trying to digest them but being very unsuccesful. The overall proportion for self destructive readers is: for every book read, they become 2% more melancholic, but this rate can go up to 10%, depending on the book. For every magazine read, they get minus 1% of overall satisfaction, which always begins at 0. For every newspaper read, +50% of hatred, directed to politicians in general. Literature and journalism can be very dangerous whilst in the hands of this very peculiar kind of people.

4 - Be very sexual

If you are learning the self destructive way of life, I highly suggest you begin to have more sex. And that's not all. You should also desire random people. You are walking on the street and you find this very sexy man/woman: promptly imagine yourself possessing this person. To achieve even better results, you must desire and want impossible people: those who you will never see on the other side of your bed. This particular item is really good, do not forget it: develop weird sexual behaviors (zoophilie, pedophilie, necrophilie, etc). Lastly, never fuck who you love, because if you're self destructive you will only love impossible people. And ha! Condoms do not match with oral.

3 - Be original...

Originality can kill your inner self and shorten your time on planet hell.. I mean, Earth. What do you mean, you should be wondering. This is actually very simple. What I mean is, once you're an original person, your preferences are 100% likely to be different from ordinary. Try falling in love with a particular cult movie or game, and try having this awesome indie-rock-awesome band as a favorite. Now go out and talk to people about it. Ouch.

2 - ...and rational

If you are truly engaged with rationality, chances are you're more likely to succeed in teh destructive way of life. After all, I assume you know that in the end of everything you will be totally on your own. You born alone and you will die alone. And on the tormented highway of life, you tend to be smart enough to realize that only reason exists. And, unlike most of the people, who live a plastic, common, stupid life, but nonetheless partially happy, you do not rely on the "power" of certain god. Science is your church, and you understand things how they really are. You do not need to blame and request anything from imaginary entities, because that's simply not rational.

1 - Be vain with people's feelings

This is possibly the best step on this very practical guide. It works so well you only believe it when you try it. Let me tell you how it works. You know family? Those few people blood related to you? And do you know those ones living far from you? Those who you are sure really like you? Okay. Forget them. Do not call them. Actually, calling people is worthless. Who needs telephone when you have online instant messengers all over? Typing keeps everyone a fair distance away from you, and if you like, you can completely ignore them (by the way, have you ever ignored someone over telephone? I have, it's hilarious). You also should not call friends often. If they want to say something, they will call you. Do not make use of familiar social life, unless you're interested on something, such as money. Who needs this crap when you have your room? Fool around with a person. Once. If he/she/it falls in love with you (argh), hurt them, but politely: ignore calls, block, etc. They will eventually forget you, even if it takes years. Being vain with people is easy, I guarantee you. Just put yourself always in first place, and lie to them to make you nicer, and ignore who you, for some reason, don't want to talk to. Break promises, break your work. Be vain with them. Then, you're possibly going to regret all you've done. That is when you know you're sucessfully transforming yourself into a pathetic self destructive human being. And, remember one thing: when you self destruct your values and dignity, you destroy everyone around you. All those people who love you and want to see you well. With only a few efforts, things wouldn't need to become what they did or will - but being self destructive is much easier, isn't it? I swear I will discover one day the recipe of human emptiness. And I will destroy it.

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NOTE: I do not support pedophilie. This text is simply a bizarre resume of how I live my life these days. It's supposed to have some comical content, although I think it's quite depressive and stupid.