One of the hardest questions for me to answer is what religion I am. The simplest answer I can give is "all of them and none of them". I guess technically I am the closest to "taoism", but I am reluctant to claim that title (which as I understand it is the nature of the tao anyway).

At the beginning and the end of the day I don't see myself as religious at all, though I agree with and follow the core tenants of many religions. I don't have much desire to join a church communion or fellowship, and when I am honest with myself I never felt too comfortable when I did go to church services growing up. It always felt like I was wearing clothes I didn't want to wear and that didn't fit quite right. I feel better for the experience, but I didn't really feel it was for me.

It's similar to when people ask me if I believe in God. How can I answer that with one word? In another post I described my belief in a "lower power". That's the closest I can come to describe what I see is the largest (and smallest) thing in existence (and non-existence).

I certainly don't believe in a conscious God . I can't even say that I believe in a moral God, necessarily. I like the idea that "love is the center of all God's creation", but the creation itself is what "God" is in my mind.

I read a Zen poem once referring to the spirit (ie, the "all spirit" of everything) as a river coming to a cliff to create a waterfall, only to join back as a river at the bottom of the valley. In the river the water is one and connected, not needing to make a distinction or definition of what it is. In the waterfall the river is divided, chaotic, and individualized. Once the water hits the valley, it is once again a moving, thriving one. It is as if it was never a waterfall.

This poem made sense to me. I think one of the reasons why I have trouble labeling my spiritual belief is it feels as though I would be prolonging the waterfall for fear of that valley below. This, to me, is counter to the nature of God.

A waterfall cannot exist without it's source, and with time it will return to form something that resembles it's source. This is powerful. This is subtlety. This is God, for me.