LRS28

I'm starting to have second thoughts about this whole New York thing. To be honest, I just don't feel good yet about leaving Chicago. This city has become home, and I love it, while I still somewhat fear and loathe NYC. Or the idea of NYC, since except for a few visits I haven't spent much time there. Everyone says its great, guarantees I'll love it... but everything is so comfortable here. I know how to get places. I know where my favorite bars and diners are (even if I haven't figured out their hours yet). I can answer the tourists directional questions... Pretty soon I'm going to BE that guy asking.

I guess the thing that's getting to me is that I sort of feel like I HAVE to go to New York. I've been talking about doing what I'm about to go do for probably the past 15 years of my life. You can't just walk away from an opportunity like that... to "follow my bliss," if you will. And having invested millions of dollars and several years of baby steps, I know I need to follow through. But part of me still wants to bury myself in a warm bed in a dark room and just stay there for the next few years.

I'm sick of the little details of life being so hard, and I really don't see an end to that coming soon, at least not for another six months. Is it really worth it? Is it worth commuting into the city from far away in the land of the cheap rent? Is it worth eating a diet of Ramen and Campbell's soup and risking scurvy yet again? Sleeping on a used futon in a miniature-sized room with a view of a brick wall, and chancing the quality of home life with another set of new and unknown roommates? Let's hope so.

But for the next 3 days, I plan on gorging on Flat Top, stuffed crust pizzas, and a little CBA action, while perhaps revisiting my favorite Chicago photo booths for one final farewell and the various neighborhoods I've lived in since 1998. I wish I could take one more drive along Lake Shore Drive past the volleyball courts. Past my favorite skyscraper. Past my old office building. Down Michigan Avenue. Through Lincoln Park, and Southport, and Andersonville, where lots of good times were had.

I guess I should stop being so melodramatic, it's not like Chicago's going anywhere. I just don't like things happening without me. Just another grass-is-always-greener attack, don't mind me.

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2006-01-02 1:47 PM My future is bright Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (2) Share on Facebook	I'm starting to have second thoughts about this whole New York thing. To be honest, I just don't feel good yet about leaving Chicago. This city has become home, and I love it, while I still somewhat fear and loathe NYC. Or the idea of NYC, since except for a few visits I haven't spent much time there. Everyone says its great, guarantees I'll love it... but everything is so comfortable here. I know how to get places. I know where my favorite bars and diners are (even if I haven't figured out their hours yet). I can answer the tourists directional questions... Pretty soon I'm going to BE that guy asking. I guess the thing that's getting to me is that I sort of feel like I HAVE to go to New York. I've been talking about doing what I'm about to go do for probably the past 15 years of my life. You can't just walk away from an opportunity like that... to "follow my bliss," if you will. And having invested millions of dollars and several years of baby steps, I know I need to follow through. But part of me still wants to bury myself in a warm bed in a dark room and just stay there for the next few years. I'm sick of the little details of life being so hard, and I really don't see an end to that coming soon, at least not for another six months. Is it really worth it? Is it worth commuting into the city from far away in the land of the cheap rent? Is it worth eating a diet of Ramen and Campbell's soup and risking scurvy yet again? Sleeping on a used futon in a miniature-sized room with a view of a brick wall, and chancing the quality of home life with another set of new and unknown roommates? Let's hope so. But for the next 3 days, I plan on gorging on Flat Top, stuffed crust pizzas, and a little CBA action, while perhaps revisiting my favorite Chicago photo booths for one final farewell and the various neighborhoods I've lived in since 1998. I wish I could take one more drive along Lake Shore Drive past the volleyball courts. Past my favorite skyscraper. Past my old office building. Down Michigan Avenue. Through Lincoln Park, and Southport, and Andersonville, where lots of good times were had. I guess I should stop being so melodramatic, it's not like Chicago's going anywhere. I just don't like things happening without me. Just another grass-is-always-greener attack, don't mind me. Read/Post Comments (2) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top
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