Electric Grandmother

So today I received an entry for the Mrs. Idaho America pageant in my mail.

(You can all stop laughing now.

Oh, okay. You can keep laughing. I am.)

I was hoping for something cool.

Eh, I opened it anyway because, well, I didn't know it was an entry form in the first place. The return address was "Mrs. Idaho America" and I thought maybe the current Mrs. Idaho America was campaigning for something useful, like education or improved health care for the mentally ill.

That's right -- no such luck.

And it's for an actual beauty pageant -- they wanted to know regular measurements, evening gown measurements, and swimming suit measurements (though one gets to also wear a wrap of choice during actual swimming suit competition -- talk about progression!).

Before we all get confused, let's set the record straight. I have about as much use for beauty pageants as I do for raw beef. Not clear enough? How about e. coli?

In any event, they also wanted to know talents and hobbies and such things. Now this is where I get tempted. I really think Idaho needs a Mrs. Idaho America that's, you know, "alternative". I'm tempted to enter (heh -- not that I'd get it) and if I did get in, show up with blue hair and sing Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart" ala Las Vegas crooner for my talent. Or I could just read from my bear sex story...

But then I get urges like this all the time.

It's purely the living in Idaho thing. If I lived in California, say, the urges would completely go away.

Oh yeah, the entry form went in the shredder.

But maybe I'll dye my hair blue for the two weeks surrounding Halloween this year.

***

From the IM conversation with Rice:

Deleterious: Just read: "It isn't Easter...until plastic grass comes out of the cat's butt."
zigs25: lol
zigs25: I just got an entry form for the Mrs. Idaho America.
zigs25: I'm thinking I might dye my hair blue for this...
* Deleterious sighs
* Deleterious relents
Deleterious: Sure. Whatever.
Deleterious: What color blue?
Deleterious: Sky? Cerulean? Royal?
zigs25: I don't know.
zigs25: Powder or royal.
Deleterious: Powder? bleh.

***

Maybe indigo...

***

Maybe purple...

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Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (3) Share on Facebook		2006-09-25 2:06 PM mrs. idaho america So today I received an entry for the Mrs. Idaho America pageant in my mail. (You can all stop laughing now. Oh, okay. You can keep laughing. I am.) I was hoping for something cool. Eh, I opened it anyway because, well, I didn't know it was an entry form in the first place. The return address was "Mrs. Idaho America" and I thought maybe the current Mrs. Idaho America was campaigning for something useful, like education or improved health care for the mentally ill. That's right -- no such luck. And it's for an actual beauty pageant -- they wanted to know regular measurements, evening gown measurements, and swimming suit measurements (though one gets to also wear a wrap of choice during actual swimming suit competition -- talk about progression!). Before we all get confused, let's set the record straight. I have about as much use for beauty pageants as I do for raw beef. Not clear enough? How about e. coli? In any event, they also wanted to know talents and hobbies and such things. Now this is where I get tempted. I really think Idaho needs a Mrs. Idaho America that's, you know, "alternative". I'm tempted to enter (heh -- not that I'd get it) and if I did get in, show up with blue hair and sing Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart" ala Las Vegas crooner for my talent. Or I could just read from my bear sex story... But then I get urges like this all the time. It's purely the living in Idaho thing. If I lived in California, say, the urges would completely go away. Oh yeah, the entry form went in the shredder. But maybe I'll dye my hair blue for the two weeks surrounding Halloween this year. *** From the IM conversation with Rice: Deleterious: Just read: "It isn't Easter...until plastic grass comes out of the cat's butt." zigs25: lol zigs25: I just got an entry form for the Mrs. Idaho America. zigs25: I'm thinking I might dye my hair blue for this... * Deleterious sighs * Deleterious relents Deleterious: Sure. Whatever. Deleterious: What color blue? Deleterious: Sky? Cerulean? Royal? zigs25: I don't know. zigs25: Powder or royal. Deleterious: Powder? bleh. * Maybe indigo... * Maybe purple... Read/Post Comments (3) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top