I have written a lot over the past year. There is a part of me that is sad about not blogging this because it's so wonderful and sweet to go back through the years and remember what I was writing during certain periods of life. But what's done is done and that's okay.

One of the biggest reasons I haven't been blogging is because I don't feel I can be honest about a lot of things going on in life.

Before I left Idaho, Rice asked me to write a bunch of nice things in my blog so his readers would think he was a wonderful person. And it's true he does have his wonderful qualities, but I felt torn between being able to be honest and be political. There's only so much personal stuff that should go on a public space on the internet. It's not that I have the desire to write about all the troubles I had, especially between the fall of 2007 to the early winter of 2009, but the life events were so overwhelming and present that there was no way to write without addressing those things. I think it's evident life was very difficult for me during this time; I just didn't always write about why they were difficult.

I ended up almost non-functional in January of 2008, and was given antidepressants, which were helpful overall. I had wanted to believe that the need was biochemical in origin, genetic, and not because of the life situation I'd found myself in. As 2008 progressed it became obvious that the depression was situational and had to be fixed.

I visited with a fabulous counselor. He showed me I needed to take care of myself and my kids. And so I'm doing my best to do this.

For a long time there was nothing to write about really other than so many struggles and heartaches. I wanted to be able to write about normal things. Normal life events are occurring again. Enough so there are things to write about, lovely things, without focusing on the difficult things I don't feel I can talk about here.

And so here we are. And it is good.